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Big Wins- NO cruel conversations! I have made it my mantra to be positive or neutral. Negative talk and body language does not win any friends or sober days. We have had more than one change talk conversation and I have been able to do a "1-10" conversation a couple of times. He even had a "1-10" question for me! It is getting easier for me to detach and I actually, for the first time, believe he doesn't drink to hurt our family. In the past I would tell myself that, but I'm not sure I believed it. I had to change my heart belief.
Positive Steps- My husband has actually asked twice now to watch a video of yours. We started with the help for the addict playlist on youtube. I have NOT revealed yet that I have the 30 day jump start I could send him. It hasn't felt right. Last night we watched the addiction monsters. He was receptive and offered up that he has quite a few of those monsters.
The Invisible Intervention has completely changed the way I think, and how I interact with my husband. Our relationship improved almost immediately, and we were able to talk about things without fighting. After a couple a few weeks, I started noticing some change talk. He eventually came right out and said, he was tired of drinking and wanted to stop!!! I was excited but I wasn't sure what type of help would be best, so I scheduled coaching sessions and Kim gave me several suggestions. My husband is currently 41 days sober. I know I'm not out of the woods yet, but for the first time in a very long time, I'm actually hopeful about the future!
I can not thank you enough for the amazing support. It feels like you have my back. Your videos are so good, I could get addicted to them. You have increased my understanding of blame, denial, and manipulations to happens with addiction. I've been able to depersonalize my daughter's behaviors which have helped me have compassion for her.
I've been working on listening deeply and using reflection statements, and I've seen very positive results. I've also been successful at stopping my tendency to problem solve, and I now focus on things we can do together in peace. She's started taking hikes with me and giving me long hugs. "
"I am currently working my way through the Invisible Intervention. I take notes so I can refer back to them, and to be honest it's the only thing keeping me sane right now. I spend some time each day listening to a few of them and it helps me keep my emotions from overwhelming me. I must have watched 12,13, 14 and 15 about 10 time each.
“I am a Certified Peer Recovery Specialist who works in both private and forensic settings. I feel like I have a whole new toolbox. I am recovering myself and in relationships with people in various stages of recovery. This is life-changing information. It is presented in a way that anybody can understand it. I am sharing with everyone I know in recovery.”