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I signed up for the Invisible Intervention a little over a month ago, and I'm already seeing positive changes. The biggest win would be my own mental health. I feel I am developing the tools to recognize my own destructive thoughts and behaviors and am developing the ability to stop them before they negatively impact the process. Essentially not only stay out of the "bad guy" role, but begin to step into the "good guy" role. My wife has mentioned multiple times that she feels our relationship is currently better than it has been in years. I consider this a big win and very motivating to continue working on the process. Your guidance regarding focusing on the next step versus the end goal has been hugely helpful. My loved one is still drinking, but I can tell she's trying to manage it differently. In the past, I would have seen this as a failure, but now I realize that it's actually a step in the right direction. I know I have to get out of the way and let those attempts fail so she can figure out what will work (and what won't). This, too, is very motivating for me. I appreciate you and the team's perspective, and it has helped me tremendously. Thank you!
Big Wins- NO cruel conversations! I have made it my mantra to be positive or neutral. Negative talk and body language does not win any friends or sober days. We have had more than one change talk conversation and I have been able to do a "1-10" conversation a couple of times. He even had a "1-10" question for me! It is getting easier for me to detach and I actually, for the first time, believe he doesn't drink to hurt our family. In the past I would tell myself that, but I'm not sure I believed it. I had to change my heart belief. Positive Steps- My husband has actually asked twice now to watch a video of yours. We started with the help for the addict playlist on youtube. I have NOT revealed yet that I have the 30 day jump start I could send him. It hasn't felt right. Last night we watched the addiction monsters. He was receptive and offered up that he has quite a few of those monsters.
I’m a big fan. I’d been wanting to learn more about motivational interviewing for a while & your program gave me just what I needed, in a format that was very easy to take in. Our son is now doing well (and he was circling the drain before) as a result of what we’ve learned from this program. The most surprising thing is how quickly my husband got the messages from the videos he watched. He shocked me by actively listening to me - possibly a first In our 30+ year marriage, a real bonus.
"The most amazing thing about this process is the effectiveness. I am almost 52 years old. When I was 16, 17 years old, I struggled with depression and anxiety and I worked with a counselor to move past it. I learned so much at that time about how to handle my emotions and to interact with others. I lost that information somewhere along the way, and as my husband began to drink more and my inner lizard brain began to go more and more into the flight/fight mode, I completely forgot all of those skills. This program is so grounding. And it is effective. And most of all, at least at this moment, is that it shows me a mirror of my interactions. Things have been good. Amazingly good. I've just started on Monday, the Healing Your Relationship chapter. I'm ready to tattoo Amber's name across my chest."
"So far, this program and your videos have provided more insight, help, and improvement in a few short weeks than any other program (or anything else that I've tried) over several years."
I can not thank you enough for the amazing support. It feels like you have my back. Your videos are so good, I could get addicted to them. You have increased my understanding of blame, denial, and manipulations to happens with addiction. I've been able to depersonalize my daughter's behaviors which have helped me have compassion for her. I've been working on listening deeply and using reflection statements, and I've seen very positive results. I've also been successful at stopping my tendency to problem solve, and I now focus on things we can do together in peace. She's started taking hikes with me and giving me long hugs.