Initially, the idea of living a sober lifestyle can feel pretty scary and quite intimidating. Our brains immediately start to think about what we're going to miss out on and the events that won't be the same without alcohol. For some of us, it even feels like giving up alcohol means giving up the idea of ever having fun again.

But luckily, none of that is true. In fact, it's pretty much the opposite of the truth. I want to explain to you what a sober lifestyle is really like, and keep reading because I'm also going to give you some pointers about how to take your sober lifestyle to the next level and live your best life.

For those of you who are new here, I'm Amber Hollingsworth. I'm a Master Addiction Counselor. I've been helping people overcome addiction for more than 20 years now. I've seen people get sober in every way you can imagine, and I can wholeheartedly tell you that once people get sober, they are much, much happier than they are when they are drinking. It's not until you get a good distance from drinking that you can even see how much the alcohol has been impacting you.

The Hidden Impact of Alcohol

You don't even realize that alcohol is making your anxiety worse, making you feel depressed when you're not drinking, messing up your sleep, zapping your motivation and energy, and making you anxious and irritable. Eventually, you get to the point where you pretty much can't enjoy life activities without alcohol, which is a very crappy place to be. Once we start to get to this point, that's what gives us the idea that being sober means no more fun ever. But it actually means the opposite of that.

Being sober means your brain can heal enough to have the neurochemical ability to experience fun, joy, and pleasure in regular everyday stuff.

The Early Stages of Sobriety

If you're just thinking about getting sober or you're early in the process, you're probably going to have a hard time believing that because your experience with being sober is probably synonymous with what it's like to be in withdrawal. You’ve got to wait a few weeks for those brain chemicals to restabilize.

Things start to change. Whereas you initially think that being sober means you're going to be giving up, missing out, and having all these restrictions on what you can and can't do, you'll find that the sober lifestyle is the opposite of that. You are going to have the freedom and flexibility to go where you want to go, when you want to go, and with whom you want to go. You don't have to plan anything around alcohol.

For some of us, we don't even realize how much we're planning our life around alcohol. We plan the restaurants we're going to, the events we attend, our vacations, and not even just the big things like that, but our everyday route home from work, what we're going to do on the weekends. It’s so easy for drinking to become our norm that we don't even realize we're planning our whole life around alcohol. Once we can let go of having to do that, life is actually so much simpler.

The Benefits of Sobriety

For those of you who don't know me, my name is Amber Hollingsworth. I am a Master Addiction Counselor, and I've been helping people overcome addictions for more than 20 years now. This means I've helped thousands of people get rid of their addictions, and pretty much every one of those people is a much happier person once they get sober.

It's really interesting because I have people showing up in my office telling me they have a drinking problem, but they don't want to stop. They want to keep drinking. But when I'm talking to them about what's going on in their life, they're miserable. They're unhappy in their relationship, their job, and they don't like themselves. They feel crummy, their sleep's not good, they feel anxious and irritable.

When you're in that position, it's really hard to see that it's the alcohol doing that to you because the only time you feel better from all that is when you drink. The sneaky part is that the thing that's making you feel that way, to begin with, is the fact that you're drinking. That's the whole cycle of how you get stuck, and that's the crux of the matter. That's how we get stuck in this drinking cycle.

If you do nothing in recovery other than just literally quit drinking, you're going to feel 75 percent better in six weeks. You're going to feel 80 percent better in three months, and a year out, you're going to feel like you are not even the same person anymore. You're going to find that when you're around other people drinking, you're going to be looking at them differently. You'll feel sorry for them. That's right, I said it. You're going to feel sorry for the people that are drinking because you're going to be thinking, “I know what they're going through. I know how they're going to feel tomorrow. I'm going to get up, and I'm going to feel great. I'm going to go do what I want to do with my day. I'm going to be on the top of my game in my career. I'm going to be a great parent. I'm going to actually enjoy all those little joyful moments that life gives us.”

Taking Your Sober Lifestyle to the Next Level

Now, if you're new in this process or maybe you haven't even started yet, you're just thinking about it, you're probably looking at me thinking, "Whatever. I don't believe you. You are a crazy lady." But you don't have to believe me. Go out and ask some people who are in recovery. Ask them if they're happier now than they used to be when they were drinking or using or whatever it is that they were doing. If that doesn't work, ask yourself. Ask yourself how happy you are right now in the drinking cycle that you're stuck in. It's probably not that great.

I want to give you a few little tips on how to take an already really good sober lifestyle up a notch or two to fantastic.

1. Come Out of the Recovery Closet

One of the things I think that helps a lot is actually doing what I call coming out of the recovery closet. That's right. Telling other people that you don't drink anymore. At first, that seems scarier than actually giving up the alcohol because we're so worried about what other people are going to think about the fact that we're not drinking.

Yes, it’s a stigma. Not drinking is a stigma. People talk about the stigma of worrying if someone thinks you're an alcoholic, but the truth is, we worry what our friends, family, and coworkers are going to think that we don't drink. Once you get over that and you come out of the recovery closet and you're open with it, it's going to feel like a giant burden off your shoulders. You're going to get a lot of positive reinforcement instead of judgment and crooked side looks. You’re going to get a lot of, "Wow, that's impressive," or "What's that like?" You’ll get quite a few people who want to open up to you about their own drinking or someone they know who needs help. You’re going to be surprised when this happens, but there are a lot of people you talk to and deal with on a daily basis that actually want to stop drinking, and they're going to want to know what your secret is.

2. Surround Yourself with Good People

The next thing you can do to take it up another notch is to surround yourself with good people. Now, I mean this more than just in the typical recovery people, places, and things. Specifically, surround yourself with good, positive influences because we are affected by the mood, thoughts, and feelings of the people we surround ourselves with.

If you continue to surround yourself with people who drink heavily, a lot, and regularly, you're going to find that they're anxious, depressed, mad at the world, resentful, and feeling sorry for themselves. And guess what? That's going to rub off on you. Maybe it might not make you want to drink, but it might make you a more miserable person. And who wants that? Surround yourself with motivated, good human beings, and you'll go up another 10 percent.

3. Focus on Serving Others

If you want to go up even one more notch, then put a focus in your life on serving others. Now, that can be volunteer work, but there are a lot of ways to serve others that aren’t necessarily volunteer work. You can serve the people in your house and in your community. You can serve the people you work with by being a good human being and bringing that good energy to someone else. Of course, you could do it the old-fashioned way—go to the soup kitchen, volunteer—that definitely counts, but there are a lot of ways to do that just in how we interact with people on an everyday basis.

When we can let go of being so self-consumed and self-conscious, we can actually start to focus on other people, which makes our energy change. Doing that will actually draw those good people to you.

Share Your Journey

Now, I want to know: What's your experience with getting sober? Have you ever been sober for more than three months? If so, what is that like? Tell us what it's really like in the comments below. If you want more content like this, make sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel and then check out my video titled, "This Illusion Is Why It's Hard To Break Addictions' Hold."

Amber Hollingsworth is a Master Addiction Counselor with over 20 years of experience in helping people overcome addiction. Through her work, she aims to guide individuals towards a happier and healthier sober lifestyle.

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