Running on Empty: How to Refill Your Cup When Supporting a Loved One with Addiction

Supporting someone struggling with addiction is one of the toughest roads to walk. You love them, you care for them, and you want to help them through this dark journey. But let’s be real: you’re exhausted, anxious, and maybe even resentful. You're running on fumes, and then you stumble upon advice to “stay positive” or “listen more patiently.” And you think to yourself, "How am I supposed to do that when I’ve got nothing left to give?"

The Empty Cup Dilemma

You’ve probably heard the saying: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” And right now, your cup is bone dry. In this guide, we’re going to talk about how to refill your emotional reserves so you can continue being the supportive, loving person you want to be. Your needs matter, too.

I’m Amber Hollingsworth, a Master Addiction Counselor, and on my YouTube channel,...

Unlock Self-Awareness and Transform Your Life with These 3 Questions

Too often, we move through our days on autopilot, never stopping to reflect on the motivations behind our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. But what if you took a few moments each day to pause, reflect, and ask yourself three transformational questions? These questions can unlock self-awareness, help you grow personally, and strengthen your relationships.

Whether you're on a personal recovery journey or navigating family recovery, self-awareness and self-honesty are essential for lasting change. These daily reflections will challenge you to get honest with yourself and build the habit of integrity over time.

Here are the three powerful questions to ask yourself every night.

1. Was I Resentful Today?

Resentment can quietly build, turning into self-pity and leading to poor decisions. It’s like a low-level anger that simmers under the surface. Identifying resentment is critical for personal growth and...

How to Support an Addicted Loved One Without Losing Yourself

Supporting a loved one through addiction is one of the most challenging journeys a person can face. While your love and commitment are unwavering, you may find yourself feeling drained, anxious, and resentful. You’re running on empty, yet everyone tells you to “be positive” and “stay supportive.”

But how do you do that when there’s nothing left to give? It’s time to focus on filling your own cup so you can continue to show up for them—and yourself.

Understanding the Impact of Addiction on Family Members

When addiction affects someone you care about, it often consumes not just their life but yours as well. It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of overthinking, worrying, and feeling responsible for their recovery. This obsession can leave you emotionally, physically, and financially depleted.

Remember this: you cannot pour from an empty cup. Supporting your loved one...

The Duality of Addiction: People-Pleasing at Its Core

Addiction often carries a stereotype of selfishness, but at its core, it’s often driven by people-pleasing. This duality is one of the biggest challenges in understanding and addressing addiction. Imagine a person who, on the surface, seems to care deeply about others, giving their all to family, work, and friends, but who also battles an internal struggle with addiction that drives behaviors at odds with who they truly are. Let's explore this contrast and its impact on both individuals and their loved ones.

The Duality of Addiction and Self-Perception

In a recent family consultation, a husband described his wife as kind, compassionate, and hardworking—the epitome of someone who genuinely cares about others. Yet, when under the influence, she becomes confrontational, even antagonistic. This stark contrast between a person’s true self and their behavior during addiction is a common experience for families,...

Relapse is Part of Recovery: Real Stories of Trial, Error, and Success

Relapse doesn't mean you've failed in recovery. For most people, it takes a few tries before real, lasting recovery takes hold. In fact, 9 out of 10 people may experience a relapse after their first treatment, but that doesn't mean they failed. Recovery is a process—often one filled with setbacks and learning experiences.

I'm not saying this to excuse relapsing. Instead, it's to help set a realistic perspective on what recovery really looks like. To show what I mean, I'll share a few real-life stories that highlight the ups and downs of the recovery journey. These aren't just case studies; they're insights into the resilience and persistence that can lead to a new life.

Story 1: Barry's Battle for Sobriety

Barry didn't want to be in his Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP). In fact, he signed up reluctantly and barely kept sober during treatment. His marriage was on the rocks, his wife was planning a...

5 Signs You Might Be Enabling Your Loved One’s Addiction

Enabling goes beyond simply paying someone’s bills or letting them stay under your roof. It’s a deeper, more complex dynamic that can keep your loved one stuck in unhealthy patterns. In this post, we’ll walk through five major signs that you might be enabling someone struggling with addiction. Think about each sign as you read—does it resonate with your experience?

If you're here, you're likely concerned that you might be enabling someone you care about. 

So, let’s explore the five signs that you might be enabling:

1. Shielding Them from Natural Consequences
If your loved one isn’t facing the natural outcomes of their actions, they might not see a reason to change. Natural consequences happen when someone’s actions lead to logical results, like missing work and getting fired. On the other hand, punishment is something you impose in response to bad behavior. By stepping in...

Feeling Held Hostage by Your Loved One’s Addiction? Here’s What You Can Do

Does it feel like every time you turn your back, they have a relapse? It’s like you can’t even go anywhere—afraid to leave for the afternoon to hang out with friends or go to a work event. The idea of being gone overnight or for multiple days? Forget about it. It’s nerve-wracking, and it feels like you have to babysit 24/7 just to keep things from falling apart.

If that sounds like your life, this is for you.

We don’t believe in waiting for rock bottom, and we definitely don’t believe that you’re powerless. If you have an addicted loved one, you have a lot of power and influence. And today, we’re talking about how to stop feeling like a hostage to their addiction and how to regain control of your life.

Understanding the “Coast is Clear” Trigger

So, what’s happening here? You may have noticed that every time you leave, your loved...

How to Handle a Loved One's Relapse: Steps for Recovery and Support

Discovering that a loved one has relapsed after a period of progress can feel like a punch to the gut. It's overwhelming, heartbreaking, and often leaves you unsure of how to respond. While it's normal to feel a wave of emotions, how you handle the situation can make a big difference in what happens next. Although you can’t control their actions, your response can influence the outcome. Let’s walk through some essential steps to take that can help guide your loved one—and yourself—toward a healthier path.

1. Get Clear Before Taking Action
Before you take any steps, make sure you're confident that a relapse has occurred. If you’re only suspicious but not certain, it’s better to hold off on confronting them. I recommend watching my video on [How to Tell If Your Loved One Has Relapsed](#), which covers some clear indicators that might help you get clarity. Once you're about 80-90%...

Dear Amber,

 My story begins nine years ago. I was a 45-year-old divorced woman who had been single for five years. I dated a few men during that time but was emotionally unstable and drinking a lot of wine. Though I was friends with my ex-spouse, and we had two wonderful grown children, I had never fully healed from the divorce. I thought we were building a spectacular life together - we met in art school at 21, got married, had kids, and started a joint business that did really well. Life was magical.

That is until I found out on our last anniversary that my then-husband had been massively unfaithful for our entire marriage. One of his five girlfriends had posted about it on social media, outing him on my page. She was enraged because she was tracking our relationship on Facebook. My whole world fell apart in an instant. We were home when I confronted him, and he turned into a different person, laughing and mocking me, calling me stupid, and saying he'd had many affairs for...

How to Spot the Signs of a Relapse: A Guide for Loved Ones

Are you feeling like something just isn't right with your loved one? Maybe you’ve got that sneaky suspicion that they’ve relapsed, but they haven’t come forward yet. You’re stuck questioning yourself, wondering if you should confront them or if it’s all in your head. Before you dive in, it’s essential to figure out if they really have relapsed. In this post, we’ll break down both the obvious and not-so-obvious signs of relapse so you can put your self-doubt to rest.

The Obvious Signs of Relapse

When we think about the signs of a relapse, we usually jump to the most concrete and straightforward ones. These are harder to miss but can still leave room for doubt when your loved one starts getting defensive.

Here are some of the telltale signs:

• Missing money or time: If they were supposed to be somewhere but weren’t, or it took them way longer than expected, this could be a...