Relapse is Part of Recovery: Real Stories of Trial, Error, and Success
Relapse doesn't mean you've failed in recovery. For most people, it takes a few tries before real, lasting recovery takes hold. In fact, 9 out of 10 people may experience a relapse after their first treatment, but that doesn't mean they failed. Recovery is a process—often one filled with setbacks and learning experiences.
I'm not saying this to excuse relapsing. Instead, it's to help set a realistic perspective on what recovery really looks like. To show what I mean, I'll share a few real-life stories that highlight the ups and downs of the recovery journey. These aren't just case studies; they're insights into the resilience and persistence that can lead to a new life.
Story 1: Barry's Battle for Sobriety
Barry didn't want to be in his Intensive Outpatient Program (IOP). In fact, he signed up reluctantly and barely kept sober during treatment. His marriage was on the rocks, his wife was planning a...
5 Signs You Might Be Enabling Your Loved One’s Addiction
Enabling goes beyond simply paying someone’s bills or letting them stay under your roof. It’s a deeper, more complex dynamic that can keep your loved one stuck in unhealthy patterns. In this post, we’ll walk through five major signs that you might be enabling someone struggling with addiction. Think about each sign as you read—does it resonate with your experience?
If you're here, you're likely concerned that you might be enabling someone you care about.
So, let’s explore the five signs that you might be enabling:
1. Shielding Them from Natural Consequences
If your loved one isn’t facing the natural outcomes of their actions, they might not see a reason to change. Natural consequences happen when someone’s actions lead to logical results, like missing work and getting fired. On the other hand, punishment is something you impose in response to bad behavior. By stepping in...
Feeling Held Hostage by Your Loved One’s Addiction? Here’s What You Can Do
Does it feel like every time you turn your back, they have a relapse? It’s like you can’t even go anywhere—afraid to leave for the afternoon to hang out with friends or go to a work event. The idea of being gone overnight or for multiple days? Forget about it. It’s nerve-wracking, and it feels like you have to babysit 24/7 just to keep things from falling apart.
If that sounds like your life, this is for you.
We don’t believe in waiting for rock bottom, and we definitely don’t believe that you’re powerless. If you have an addicted loved one, you have a lot of power and influence. And today, we’re talking about how to stop feeling like a hostage to their addiction and how to regain control of your life.
Understanding the “Coast is Clear” Trigger
So, what’s happening here? You may have noticed that every time you leave, your loved...
How to Handle a Loved One's Relapse: Steps for Recovery and Support
Discovering that a loved one has relapsed after a period of progress can feel like a punch to the gut. It's overwhelming, heartbreaking, and often leaves you unsure of how to respond. While it's normal to feel a wave of emotions, how you handle the situation can make a big difference in what happens next. Although you can’t control their actions, your response can influence the outcome. Let’s walk through some essential steps to take that can help guide your loved one—and yourself—toward a healthier path.
1. Get Clear Before Taking Action
Before you take any steps, make sure you're confident that a relapse has occurred. If you’re only suspicious but not certain, it’s better to hold off on confronting them. I recommend watching my video on [How to Tell If Your Loved One Has Relapsed](#), which covers some clear indicators that might help you get clarity. Once you're about 80-90%...
Dear Amber,
My story begins nine years ago. I was a 45-year-old divorced woman who had been single for five years. I dated a few men during that time but was emotionally unstable and drinking a lot of wine. Though I was friends with my ex-spouse, and we had two wonderful grown children, I had never fully healed from the divorce. I thought we were building a spectacular life together - we met in art school at 21, got married, had kids, and started a joint business that did really well. Life was magical.
That is until I found out on our last anniversary that my then-husband had been massively unfaithful for our entire marriage. One of his five girlfriends had posted about it on social media, outing him on my page. She was enraged because she was tracking our relationship on Facebook. My whole world fell apart in an instant. We were home when I confronted him, and he turned into a different person, laughing and mocking me, calling me stupid, and saying he'd had many affairs for...
How to Spot the Signs of a Relapse: A Guide for Loved Ones
Are you feeling like something just isn't right with your loved one? Maybe you’ve got that sneaky suspicion that they’ve relapsed, but they haven’t come forward yet. You’re stuck questioning yourself, wondering if you should confront them or if it’s all in your head. Before you dive in, it’s essential to figure out if they really have relapsed. In this post, we’ll break down both the obvious and not-so-obvious signs of relapse so you can put your self-doubt to rest.
The Obvious Signs of Relapse
When we think about the signs of a relapse, we usually jump to the most concrete and straightforward ones. These are harder to miss but can still leave room for doubt when your loved one starts getting defensive.
Here are some of the telltale signs:
Breaking the Cycle: How Self-Pity Can Trigger Relapse and How to Stop It
You've probably heard the saying, "Pride comes before the fall." But when it comes to addiction recovery, I’d argue that *self-pity* comes before the fall. Of course, many factors can lead to relapse, but the biggest and final domino that usually topples is self-pity. This mindset can sneak in, quietly giving us permission to slip back into old habits.
Why Does Self-Pity Lead to Relapse?
It’s simple—stressful events or emotional triggers can't cause us to relapse by themselves. They can only push us toward relapse if we *let* them. And the most common way we give ourselves permission to use again is by falling into a victim mindset. This way of thinking allows us to justify and rationalize why we "deserve" to fall back into addiction.
So, in addiction recovery, it's crucial to learn how to recognize and combat this negative thinking. But why do we even fall into the trap of self-pity in the...
3 Simple Daily Rituals to Help You Maintain Sobriety: Tips from Amber Hollingsworth
Maintaining sobriety can feel like a daunting challenge, but doing a few simple daily rituals can make a significant difference in your recovery journey. In this blog post, we'll explore three effective habits that are easy to incorporate into your daily routine. Plus, we'll provide you with three free resources to support your journey and keep you on track.
1. Plan for Your Sobriety
When you commit to sobriety, it’s essential to plan how you’ll maintain it. Just like your addiction requires careful planning, so does your recovery. In the early stages, sobriety demands more effort and planning. Here’s how you can set yourself up for success:
- Create Accountability Set up systems to help you stay accountable. This could involve leaving cash and credit cards at home or choosing specific routes to avoid triggers.
- Prepare for Challenges: Plan activities that keep you engaged and away...
The Subtle Danger of Alcoholic Denial: Why It’s Different and How to Recognize It
Denial is a common trait among those struggling with addiction, but alcoholic denial is a unique beast altogether. It's trickier to identify and even more challenging to confront. If you're wondering why someone with a drinking problem doesn't see it—or if you suspect you might be in denial yourself—understanding these nuances can be the first step toward change.
In this post, we’ll explore 6 reasons why alcoholic denial differs from denial in other types of addiction and how it often goes unnoticed.
1. High Functionality Masks the Problem
One of the biggest reasons alcoholics often don’t realize they have a significant problem is because they’re highly functional in many areas of life. Unlike other addictions where the effects are more immediate and visible, alcohol can allow a person to maintain a seemingly normal life for years. They might hold down a...
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