Using this one statement, you can instantly win the trust of someone who has an addiction to drugs, alcohol, or anything else. Are you ready for it? Drum roll, please. The statement is, "I was wrong." When you tell someone with an addiction that you are wrong, guess what happens?
Their walls go down, they retract the spikes, their ears perk up, and now you've got their attention. Now they want to hear what you're about to say. It's powerful because the person is expecting some punch or stab; they're expecting you to come at them to be negative, criticize them, call them out on something, lecture, nag, or preach.
If you don't do any of that, you can show your vulnerabilities and weaknesses and act with humility. Not only will they pay attention to and listen to you, but they will also trust you much more. Best of all, you're modeling humility.
Humility triggers humility in another person. Think about the last time you were in a big argument with someone, and finally, either they or you caved and said, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have done that, or I was wrong."
About 99% of the time, what does the other person say once someone says that?
"Well, I shouldn't have done this, or I shouldn't have said it that way, or I shouldn't have made such a big deal about it." It allows the other person to say that they're wrong.
Put your walls down, retract your spikes and watch what happens.
The good news is you can say you were wrong about pretty much anything you want to.
You can say you were wrong about how you responded to something. You can say you were wrong about something that has nothing to do with them. The point is that you're being humble with them. Essentially, you're communicating that you know you're not perfect. Still, on a deeper level, you're communicating that it's essential to get someone to trust you and open up to you, especially someone with an addiction; you're communicating that you are a safe person.
The more trust you have, the more influence you can have over the situation. Faith in you goes up; the impact goes up.
You'll want to watch these videos next because these videos will give you a lot of excellent tactics to rebuild a bridge between you and your loved one.