Sick Of Fighting With Your Spouse About How Much Alcohol They're Drinking?
Is Alcohol Causing Issues in Your Marriage? How to Stop Obsessing About Your Spouse's Drinking
Alcohol can be a challenging issue in a marriage. Suppose you have frequent conversations that turn into arguments about your spouse's drinking, and you're constantly obsessing about how much they drink or whether they're drinking at all. In that case, it's natural to be concerned. However, healthier ways exist to address this problem and stop obsessing about your spouse's drinking.
When one person in a relationship develops an alcohol use disorder, it affects both partners and creates problems for everyone involved. The worry and preoccupation of suspecting your spouse have an alcohol problem can lead to behaviors like spying, checking, questioning, and even smell checking. Unfortunately, you often don't get the truth when you ask your spouse about their drinking.
This preoccupation with finding the truth becomes a vicious cycle. You become focused on proving a problem while your spouse fixates on hiding it. This erodes trust in the relationship and leads to resentment on both sides.
It's important to remember that if your spouse has an alcohol use disorder, commonly referred to as alcoholism, it will become evident through the unmanageability of addiction. You don't have to go to great lengths to prove it or engage in arguments. In fact, by doing so, you may inadvertently distract your spouse from recognizing the magnitude of the problem and hinder their recovery process.
If your spouse is in denial about their alcohol problem, there are resources available that can help guide them toward acceptance and recovery. You can find helpful videos on this topic at the end of this blog.
However, if your spouse acknowledges their alcohol problem and you can have a productive conversation, introducing a Soberlink device is one potential solution. Soberlink is an alcohol monitoring device that can make a significant difference, similar to a breathalyzer. While Soberlink is a sponsor of this channel, it's a tool I had used for years, even before I started creating content on YouTube.
So what exactly is Soberlink? It's a highly advanced alcohol monitoring device that offers more than your average breathalyzer. When your spouse agrees to use Soberlink, you can establish a schedule for alcohol testing throughout the day. I typically recommend testing two to three times a day, especially in the beginning. This can include a test close to waking up, one before bed, and another in the middle of the day. It's crucial to involve your spouse in determining the best testing times to provide flexibility and minimize disruption to their daily routine.
You might be wondering, how does this help you stop obsessing about your spouse's drinking? If your spouse commits to using Soberlink, you no longer need to monitor them constantly because you know they are being monitored. It's understandable to have concerns about potential cheating on the tests, but Soberlink has implemented facial recognition software. This means their picture is taken up close when your spouse takes a test, just like your phone's face recognition feature. This ensures that only they can take the test, preventing anyone else from doing it for them. Regular testing throughout the day makes it challenging for your spouse to misuse alcohol without Soberlink detecting it.
Now, here's where trust plays a crucial role. When using Soberlink, your spouse receives automated text messages with their test times. For example, if they want to be tested at 8 a.m., they will receive a text message at 7:45 a.m. informing them that they have a test at 8 o'clock. They then have until 9 o'clock to complete the test. This flexibility allows them to incorporate Soberlink into their everyday life seamlessly. If they miss a test, are late, or test positive for alcohol, a message is sent to their support person. This individual can be you, a coach, a counselor, a sponsor, or a trusted family friend. By involving an accountability partner, you can ensure that you are not solely responsible for monitoring the test results, and multiple people can be designated for this role if needed.
Soberlink benefits the person using it by removing the drinking option, reducing cravings, and making it easier to stay sober. It also benefits the entire family because it eliminates the need for spying, monitoring, and trying to gather evidence. Arguments, fights, and yelling can be minimized as Soberlink provides objective and documented results. You can even generate a report at any time containing all the test dates, times, and photos, eliminating the need for ongoing disputes.
Many of my clients have achieved sobriety successfully with the help of Soberlink. Without it, they may have needed 30, 60, or 90 days of treatment. While treatment centers can be valuable in certain cases, learning to live a clean and sober life within your home environment is often preferable. Soberlink empowers individuals in their recovery journey and helps families navigate the challenges of alcohol addiction.
If you're unsure about the severity of your spouse's drinking problem, whether they're an alcoholic or functioning alcoholic, I recommend watching the accompanying videos. They will provide valuable insights and help you better understand the situation.
Remember, addressing alcohol issues in a marriage is essential, but it's equally important to approach it with empathy, compassion, and a commitment to finding the right solutions. You can work towards a healthier and happier future with open communication, support, and tools like Soberlink.
Amber Hollingsworth
Watch this video next titled:
"8 Lies Addicts/Alcoholics Tell (Warning!#7 Will Be Upsetting)." 
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