Does Your Addicted Loved One Hate You

Unmasking Addiction: Why Your Loved One May See You as the Enemy

Does your addicted loved one hate you? It might sometimes feel that way, and the answer is a complex blend of yes and no. In this post, let's unravel the layers, dive into the dynamics, and uncover the truth behind these tumultuous emotions.

Understanding the Addiction Persona

Picture your loved one's addiction as a little devil perched on their shoulder—a metaphorical monster mouth whispering persuasive narratives. This addiction monster does perceive you as the enemy because it recognizes that you hold the key to the truth. Its mission is to keep your loved one oblivious to reality, maintaining control over the narrative.

The Role of Guilt in the Battle Against Addiction

The adversary of addiction is guilt, an uncomfortable emotion signaling wrongdoing. When your addicted loved one interacts with you, there's an awareness or fear that you see through the facade. Guilt creeps in, and here's where...

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Need to give up alcohol (or drugs), but don't want to?

The Power of Family in Helping an Alcoholic Loved One

The common narrative surrounding alcoholism is that nothing can be done to help an alcoholic until they decide to stop drinking. This belief is echoed by many treatment providers and centers, creating a sense of helplessness among family members. However, it's time to challenge this notion. As someone with 20 years of experience as an addiction counselor, I firmly believe that family members significantly influence their loved one's journey toward sobriety. In this blog post, we will explore why family members have such a crucial role and how they can effectively use their influence.

The Disconnect Between Treatment Providers and Families

In addiction treatment, a disconnect often exists between treatment providers and the families of those struggling with addiction. This divide can be attributed to several factors:

1. Overwhelming Pressure: Family members frequently inundate addiction treatment providers with phone calls...

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4 Common Ways Partners and Spouses Accidentally Self-Sabotage in Relationships

In any relationship, setting boundaries and maintaining healthy dynamics can be challenging. Sometimes, partners and spouses unintentionally self-sabotage their relationships without even realizing it. Let's highlight the four common ways individuals may unknowingly undermine their relationships and provides guidance on avoiding these pitfalls. By recognizing and understanding these behaviors, you can make conscious choices to foster healthier connections with your partner.

  1. The Difference Between Requests and Boundaries: One common mistake people make is confusing requests with boundaries. A request is simply asking someone to do or not do something, like asking your partner to pass the salt or not to drive the kids when they've been drinking. It's essential to recognize that these are just requests and not boundaries. When requests are not followed, it can lead to frustration and a sense of violated boundaries. Understanding the distinction between requests and boundaries is...

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Sick Of Fighting With Your Spouse About How Much Alcohol They're Drinking?

Is Alcohol Causing Issues in Your Marriage? How to Stop Obsessing About Your Spouse's Drinking

Alcohol can be a challenging issue in a marriage. Suppose you have frequent conversations that turn into arguments about your spouse's drinking, and you're constantly obsessing about how much they drink or whether they're drinking at all. In that case, it's natural to be concerned. However, healthier ways exist to address this problem and stop obsessing about your spouse's drinking.

When one person in a relationship develops an alcohol use disorder, it affects both partners and creates problems for everyone involved. The worry and preoccupation of suspecting your spouse have an alcohol problem can lead to behaviors like spying, checking, questioning, and even smell checking. Unfortunately, you often don't get the truth when you ask your spouse about their drinking.

This preoccupation with finding the truth becomes a vicious cycle. You become focused on proving a problem while your spouse...

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