People usually get defensive when confronted about their addiction, but you can use a few techniques to bypass their defensiveness.
I'm going to break this down into sections when it comes to talking to your loved one about their addiction, their denial, recovery, relapse, etc. What I'm going to share always needs to be top of mind when you're having a conversation about it so there's no conflict, arguments, or them putting a wall up and not speaking.
Contemplative Stage of Change
If your loved one is saying things like "I wish I could get better" or "I'm tired of feeling stuck" Contemplators know that they have a problem and begin to think about how they're going to solve it.
Caution: You have to take the queue from them first. If you come at them with a lot of information too fast, you're going to lose them and your credibility, which will only slow down the process. Your first goal is to help them see that's there's a problem.
Active Stage of Change
If someone is in an active stage of change, you can be more direct with them. You have to assess that this is, in fact, the stage that your loved one is in.
Showing Willpower: In this stage, is the stage where people believe they have the ability to change their behavior and are actively involved
Say THIS. Not THAT:
Instead of saying something negative and threatening, try positively reinforcing the right behaviors and you'll get so much further with them trusting you.
"But Amber how do I reinforce good behaviors when they're not sober?"
Here's how: If someone has started taking ANY step in the right direction or making progress, positively reinforce that thing!
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