Healing from Betrayal Trauma: A Comprehensive Guide

Betrayal trauma is one of the most challenging experiences to navigate, especially when you’ve chosen to stay in the relationship. This complex issue requires a deep dive into the myriad steps necessary to get back on track after a major deception or betrayal has occurred.

Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Typically, when we think of betrayal trauma, an affair often comes to mind. However, betrayal can also stem from having a spouse or partner with an addiction. If you find yourself in either of these situations and have decided to work through it, you’re facing significant challenges—not just self-doubt but also doubts from those around you and possibly even your partner.

The Road to Healing

Healing from betrayal trauma is a murky and long journey, but it is possible. The first step is understanding what you’re dealing with. This blog explores the perspectives of both the betrayed and the betrayer, recognizing...

How to Make Someone Want to Get Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide

Some of you may be skeptical just reading the title: "How to Make Someone Want to Get Sober." Before diving into this post, you're likely thinking, "You can't make someone get sober. They have to want it for themselves." You're right, to a large degree. But there's more to the story. While you can't make someone get sober, you can influence them to want to pursue sobriety. Here's how.

The Influence Factor

First, let's address the elephant in the room: you can't force sobriety on anyone. The person struggling with addiction has to put in the work themselves. However, as someone close to them, you play a crucial role in influencing their journey towards sobriety.

Imagine trying to make someone want to spend more time with you. There are subtle ways you can influence their feelings and decisions. Similarly, there are strategies to encourage someone to consider sobriety.

Understanding Emotional Triggers

We all have emotional...

Recognizing the Warning Signs: Is Your Drinking Becoming a Problem?

Today, we're diving into a crucial topic that often lurks in the shadows of denial: alcohol consumption and its potential pitfalls. In this blog post, we're breaking down the insights shared by Amber Hollingsworth, a seasoned Master Addiction Counselor, from her enlightening YouTube video.

In her compelling video, Amber emphasizes the importance of recognizing the early signs of problematic drinking behavior. She brings over 20 years of experience to the table, aiming to empower individuals to intervene before alcohol takes control.

The Five Major Signs:
Let's dissect the five major warning signs Amber highlights:

1. Over-Drinking Patterns:
- Do you often surpass your intended limits?
- Alcohol disrupts the brain's control mechanisms, leading to overindulgence.

2. Recurring Regrets:
- Have you experienced regrettable actions under the influence?
- Frequent remorse signifies a deeper issue that demands attention.

3....

Convincing Someone to Seek Addiction Help: Tips from Amber Hollingsworth

Are you struggling to persuade a loved one to seek help for addiction? Amber Hollingsworth, a seasoned Master Addiction Counselor, shares invaluable insights gained from over two decades in the field. Here's a breakdown of her expert advice:

1. Mind Your Tone: Approach the conversation with calmness and empathy. Avoid conveying fear or frustration, as it can trigger resistance.

2. Set the Stage: Ensure the individual acknowledges their addiction before initiating the discussion about seeking help.

3. Identify Motivators and Roadblocks: Compile a list of what motivates them to change and the potential barriers they face. This insight aids in tailoring your approach.

4. Active Listening: Engage in active listening to understand their perspective better and gather essential information for later use.

5. Avoid Mislabeling Intentions: Refrain from assigning negative intentions to their actions. Instead, acknowledge...

Navigating the Maze of Addiction: Tailoring Your Approach Based on Personality

Dealing with a loved one battling addiction is an intricate journey, and there's no one-size-fits-all solution. In this video transcript, we delve into the importance of understanding your addicted loved one's personality to tailor your approach effectively. As we emphasize on staying five steps ahead of addiction, individual differences become crucial considerations in your support strategy.

Identifying Personality Traits:

Every person is unique, and addiction doesn't manifest the same way for everyone. Recognizing your loved one's personality traits, such as avoidance, confrontational tendencies, or trust issues, becomes pivotal in devising a strategic plan for support.

Case in Point:

The transcript recounts a scenario where a person, initially following general advice, discovered a shift in their loved one's behavior. Upon learning that the loved one was a direct communicator, the approach was...

Navigating Relationships with Loved Ones Struggling with Addiction: Expert Advice

Question 1: How do I kindly tell my 31-year-old son in Tennessee that he is not welcome to visit until he can demonstrate that he's not just looking for a new place to live?

Answer: When faced with a situation like this, it's essential to approach the conversation with kindness and understanding. Consider the reasons behind your hesitation to have your son visit – whether it's concerned about him moving back in, causing conflicts, or substance abuse issues. If he asks to visit, you can suggest meeting somewhere neutral, like dinner, to avoid potential complications. If he directly asks to come and stay with you, express your love and support but kindly explain that living together might not be the best option for your relationship. Encourage him to come up with an alternative plan.

Question 2: Recently, my son said adamantly that he would rather commit suicide than go through detox; he uses...

Reclaiming our lives as parents with children in recovery.

We discussed the need to change our parenting roles to help our children recover from addiction. Today, we will delve into redefining our parenting and adopting a new approach that fosters independence, growth, and empowerment for our children and ourselves. This journey will require grit, determination, and a willingness to let go of our old parenting habits. So, let's explore how we can achieve this and find joy and pride in our parenting and personal lives.

The Unthinkable: Letting Go

One of the most challenging aspects of redefining our parenting role is accepting that we cannot protect our children from the world. As they embark on their recovery journey, we must understand that they must learn to navigate life independently. This can be particularly difficult for parents of children with addictions, as we may have to let go sooner than other parents whose children are in their mid-twenties.

To foster our children's...

Parenting children with addiction can be an incredibly challenging and emotionally taxing experience. As a parent, it's natural to question why you need to change and adapt to the situation. However, understanding the need for personal growth and transformation is crucial for your well-being and your child's recovery journey.

We'll explore the importance of change, parents' internal struggles, and the stages of parenting children with addiction. We'll also discuss the significance of joining a supportive community like the Positive Parenting Group to navigate this journey effectively. So, let's dive in!

Embracing Change for Emotional Well-being

Many parents wonder why they should change when their child struggles with addiction. But the truth is, resisting change only perpetuates negative emotions like anger, sadness, resentment, and grief. It's essential to recognize that your well-being and emotional state are just as important.

By embracing change, you have the opportunity to...

(In this post, we're basing this on adult-18+ years old)

Are you a bad parent if you let your addicted son or daughter live in your house?

If this is a thought you've had, you've likely also felt guilty for letting them stay, risking enabling them, but you also feel guilty if you make them leave. 

There are a ton of mixed feelings when it comes to this. You may resent the chaos they're bringing to the house, but you also feel terrified about what will happen if you don't let them stay. 

There's no black or white, yes or no answer to the question of whether or not it's okay to let your addicted son or daughter live in your house.

I can't tell you exactly what to do, but I can help you think through the situation objectively because it's essential that you not make this decision in an emotional state. 

Let's say your addicted son or daughter comes home, and they do something that makes you mad, and you yell and scream and throw them out in the heat of the moment;...