Does ADDICTION Really CHANGE Your PERSONALITY? | Amber Reacts

addicted loved one addicted spouse/partner family addiction recovery family support Nov 11, 2025

How Addiction Slowly Changes a Person: Two Raw Reddit Stories That Reveal the Truth About Alcoholism & Recovery

Welcome back to Put the Shovel Down—the YouTube channel where we break down the science and psychology of addiction so you can understand what’s really happening in your life and in your family. I’m Amber Hollingsworth, and today we’re diving into two incredibly raw Reddit stories that reveal what addiction looks like from the inside and the outside.

These stories are uncomfortable. They’re emotional. And they’re going to hit you right in the gut—but they also shine a light on the truth about how alcohol and drugs can reshape someone’s personality, disrupt families, and ultimately point the way toward recovery.

Story #1: Can Alcohol & Drugs Really Change Someone’s Personality?

One Redditor asked a gut-wrenching question:

“Do alcohol and drugs drastically change someone’s personality, even when they’re sober?”

His story:
His wife—a woman he’d been married to for over 25 years—slowly spiraled into heavy drinking, daily marijuana use, and eventually spending up to $1,500 a month on substances. She struggled with depression, pushed him away emotionally, and ultimately blindsided him by saying she no longer loved him… right after he returned home from a cancer diagnosis.

He questioned everything:
Was it him?
Was it the addiction?
Or had she truly become a different person?

The Hard Truth: Yes, Addiction Can Radically Change Someone’s Personality

And not just a little—a lot.

Here’s why:

1. Neurochemical Chaos Inside the Brain

Alcohol and drugs flood the brain with feel-good chemicals like dopamine and GABA. What follows is a harsh rebound effect that leaves a person feeling:

anxious
irritable
depressed
emotionally unstable

This becomes their baseline. And the people closest to them feel the impact first.

2. The Frontal Cortex “Shutdown”

Alcohol turns the volume way down on the frontal cortex—the brain’s control center for:

judgment
impulse control
decision-making
emotional regulation

This is why someone intoxicated says or does things they would never normally do.

Their emotional brain is running the show, and the filter that keeps things appropriate? Gone.

3. Partners Become the “Villain”

This is one of the most painful and universal parts of loving someone with addiction.

Why?

Because the partner sees the truth.
They notice the drinking.
They ask questions.
They raise red flags.

To the person struggling, this feels like criticism, control, or “nagging,” so they begin rewriting the story:

“You’re the problem—not my drinking.”

This psychological shift builds over time until the addicted person genuinely believes it.

4. Personality Changes Become the New Normal

With addiction running the brain, people switch between:

unfiltered, unpredictable behavior while using
anxious, depressed, irritable behavior while sober

Over the years, that rollercoaster transforms into a whole new personality—one their spouse barely recognizes.

Story #2: “You Don’t Realize How Insane Alcoholism Is Until You Get Sober”

The second Reddit story comes from someone three months into sobriety, looking back at the wild daily rituals they normalized during addiction.

He describes:

waking up and vomiting stomach acid every morning
chugging water just to dilute the burn
sprinting for his hidden bottle the minute his wife left the room
convincing himself his problem was everything but drinking
(“I need to eat fewer seed oils”—not maybe I shouldn’t drink a pint of alcohol every night)

Even months into sobriety, his brain still sends him old “go take a drink now” impulses out of muscle memory. That’s how deeply addiction wires itself into the brain.

This Is Addiction: The Insane Mental Gymnastics Become Everyday Life

What I love about this story is how perfectly it captures the addiction tap dance—the juggling act people perform every day just to maintain the illusion of normalcy.

If you’ve ever loved someone with an addiction, you’ve seen this dance:

hiding bottles
managing hangovers
masking withdrawal
pretending everything is fine
rationalizing the irrational

Over time, this exhausting cycle becomes the person’s normal. And they truly can't see how bad it is until they step out of it.

Why Rationalization Is So Powerful

The brain will tell itself any story necessary to keep the addiction going.

Even outrageous ones.

That’s why I often hear clients say things like:

“I just need to cut back.”
“It’s my job that’s stressing me out.”
“Everyone drinks like this.”
“It’s not that bad.”

To someone outside the addiction, the truth is painfully obvious. But inside the addiction, denial is part of the disorder.

What These Stories Teach Us About Addiction, Denial, and Recovery

Whether you're the person struggling or the loved one trying to understand, these stories reveal a few universal truths:

✔ Addiction changes behavior and personality

Not because someone is weak—but because the brain is literally rewired.

✔ Loved ones often become the target

Not because they did anything wrong, but because they expose the truth.

✔ The “insane” things people do in addiction feel normal at the time

The brain adapts to chaos.

✔ Sobriety brings clarity—and sometimes embarrassment

But it also brings healing and self-awareness.

✔ Recovery is possible

Understanding these patterns is the first step.

If You’re Loving Someone With an Addiction… You’re Not Alone

I’d love to hear your experience:

How did addiction change your loved one’s personality?

Your insights help others feel seen and supported.

Want More Support?

Here are helpful resources mentioned in the video:

➡️ How to Get Someone Out of Denial

Watch my denial playlist on YouTube to understand why your loved one can’t see the problem and how to help them shift perspective.

➡️ Motivation Unlocked Challenge

If you're trying to reach a functional alcoholic or someone who just isn’t ready to change, this program gives you the strategy to break through their denial.
Link is in the description.

If you found this breakdown helpful, don’t forget to subscribe to the YouTube channel so we can spread the message of recovery and help more families navigate addiction with clarity and compassion.

You’re not alone in this.
And there is a path forward.

Amber Hollingsworth

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