Why Your Loved One Refuses to Get Help (And What Actually Works Instead)

You’ve sent the articles.
You’ve shared videos.
You may have even made the appointment for them.

And still… they won’t go.

If you’re trying to get a spouse, child, sibling, or parent to get help—and nothing you do seems to work—this post is for you. And first, let’s get one thing straight:

You are not failing.
And there is nothing wrong with you.

This is one of the most common struggles people face when loving someone who clearly needs help—but refuses it. In fact, it’s the exact reason the “whole family model” exists in addiction and behavior change work. For years, people would call and say:

“I really want you to see my husband… my sister… my son… but I can’t get them to come.”

Sound familiar?

Here’s the truth most people don’t tell you:
You can’t convince someone to get help.
But that doesn’t mean you’re powerless—it just means you need a different approach.

Why People Resist Getting Help

Befor...

How Addiction Slowly Changes a Person: Two Raw Reddit Stories That Reveal the Truth About Alcoholism & Recovery

Welcome back to Put the Shovel Down—the YouTube channel where we break down the science and psychology of addiction so you can understand what’s really happening in your life and in your family. I’m Amber Hollingsworth, and today we’re diving into two incredibly raw Reddit stories that reveal what addiction looks like from the inside and the outside.

These stories are uncomfortable. They’re emotional. And they’re going to hit you right in the gut—but they also shine a light on the truth about how alcohol and drugs can reshape someone’s personality, disrupt families, and ultimately point the way toward recovery.

Story #1: Can Alcohol & Drugs Really Change Someone’s Personality?

One Redditor asked a gut-wrenching question:

“Do alcohol and drugs drastically change someone’s personality, even when they’re sober?”

His story:
His wife—a woman he’d been married to for over 2...

 Watch part 1 of Enzo's story here.

 “We’re Out of Our Parenting Skillset”

When Brenda picked up her 16-year-old son Enzo from a homeless youth shelter after a drug-fueled road trip, she saw a glimpse of where addiction was taking him—the smell, the vacant eyes, the speed at which life was unraveling. Not long after, came the call every parent dreads: Enzo overdosed. Doctors told the family to gather—he might not live through the night.

This is a true, unfiltered look at a family’s battle with addiction (fentanyl, Xanax, and more), ADHD’s early role, failed starts with treatment, and the life-and-death turning point that led to a different path. It’s painful, honest—and ultimately hopeful.

Early Signs No One Teaches You to See

• Gifted + ADHD (Twice-Exceptional): From third grade on, Enzo was bright, articulate, and also struggling. Meds muted him; no meds made school a war zone.

• Family turbulence: Divorce felt “amicable” to adults, but for Enzo’s black-and-white thinki...

Meet Amber AI: The Game-Changing Addiction Recovery Tool You Can Talk to 24/7

If you or someone you love is battling addiction, you know how overwhelming and isolating it can feel. The questions, the fear, the late-night spirals where you just wish someone could tell you exactly what to do.

Now imagine if you had access to a personal recovery expert—someone who’s spent 20+ years working with families impacted by addiction, who knows the strategies, the emotions, the setbacks, and the breakthroughs—and could talk to you at 2AM when it all hits the fan.

That’s exactly what Amber AI was built to do.

💡 What Is Amber AI?

Amber AI is an AI-powered recovery tool—think of it like a digital version of me (Amber Hollingsworth), built with every piece of content, strategy, and technique I’ve developed over two decades of working with addicted individuals and their families.

From YouTube videos and online courses to therapy worksheets and live coaching calls—Amber AI knows it all. Unl...