What does it take to get through their denial and get them to see that they are ruining their life and yours and finally do something about it?
The challenge with young adults-- not only do they have to figure out how not to use drugs. They have to figure out how to be an adult too. Most of the time, young adults who abuse drugs/alcohol for a long time haven't developed adulting skills. They're likely emotionally stuck in the age of when they started using regularly.
It's time to fill their pride tank.
A lot of young adults that are struggling with addiction have no self-worth and little self-pride. That tank is depleted, so much of our programming is to give them the life skills they need to refill that tank.
An example of filling someone's pride tank they use at Greenville Transitions is to partake in physical activities with a clinician. David shares an experience that happened to someone recently.
"We do a lot of UFC gym work where they do Brazilian jiu-jitsu. We had a guy last week who was rolling in Brazilian jiu-jitsu, and the coach had him in an uncomfortable hold, but it wasn't a hold that was going to break anything or choke him out. It was simply an uncomfortable hold, and the guy tapped out and said, "let me out!" The coach replied, "This isn't a hold that will break anything or make you pass out. You can do this. Think through how to get out of this hold." The guy said, "No, I don't want to." The coach said, "I'm not letting you out! You've given up on everything in your life to this point. You gave up on your relationships, you gave up on school, everything!" The guy just broke down and started crying. The coach released him and was like, "What just happened there?"
This experience allowed us to discuss the past experiences that depleted his pride tank. It opened up a whole process group-- which is beautiful to me. Keeping them active and having that side door approach is so helpful. It's a blend of what we were saying earlier about waiting for that door to open, similar to parents making things a little bit more uncomfortable for their child. For example, in financial situations or not fixing every minor problem. Let them be uncomfortable.
As a family, you can have a safety net they can fall into when things get stormy, or you can allow things to get uncomfortable.
These are common mistakes that parents make that sabotage getting to treatment or staying in treatment.
Don't give them a short or set time frame. They will just be counting down the days.
Be careful with negotiations.
Don't believe everything they tell you about the treatment they're receiving. This is their way of guilt-tripping and manipulating you.
Find a treatment facility that works heavily with the family so that you are all on the same page and informed.
Watch this video next so you can find out all the behind-the-scenes of what happened to get David to treatment and how his Mom dealt with it--there's a lot to learn there.