5 Ways To Support Someone Trying To Get Sober

We're constantly saying to people trying to overcome an addiction you can't do it yourself. What do you need, what is helpful, what is not, and how can other people support you?

Let's look at what kind of recovery supports are available and what you need to look for. We're also going to identify who will be part of your recovery support network.

On an individual basis, what do you need from the people around you?

There are five categories that you need in a support network. You most likely won't have one person that can do all of these. This is why you need a few different people in your life that serve a few functions.

One of the things you need is someone that can serve as a sounding board.
You need someone you can bounce your thoughts off of and help you sort through stressors and think through problems. Someone that you can talk to freely without feeling judged. The person who does this for you will need to have a few unique characteristics. First and foremost, you have to see...

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If you really want to Overcome A Drug Or Alcohol Addiction, you must do these 3 things!

If you or a loved one are thinking about getting sober and you want to make sure you stay sober, this video is for you! The number one most important first step for relapse prevention is putting these things in place.

These actionable steps will help provide the foundation for maintaining a good long-term recovery.

I recently had a conversation with a lady on a phone consult. She told me how her husband was having a lot of "change talk." He would say he was ready to take all of these first steps to recovery but always fell short. This happens with so many of the clients I see. It's not that the person doesn't mean it necessarily. You can usually tell when someone is genuine about it. They do want this problem to go away. They want to be better and change their ways, but just wanting it isn't enough. You have to take action steps.

The first and most important action step that you need to take is to do all of the things you can think of that would make it hard, If not impossible...

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Addiction Keeps You Stuck In A Victim Mindset!

 

Abusing drugs and alcohol keep you stuck in a victim mentality. I'm going to give you the four reasons why that happens.

This is one of those uncomfortable truth kinds of moments. When you're overusing drugs and alcohol, it most certainly keeps you stuck in a victim mentality. You get stuck on past hurts, you get stuck on things going wrong in your relationship, and you don't get over lost dreams and hopes and disappointments. You stay stuck in financial worries, and there are several reasons for this.

#1 reason why addiction keeps us stuck in victim thinking

The first and one of the biggest reasons this keeps you stuck is because when we use substances, it causes us to ruminate over all the bad things that have ever happened to us.
We replay it over in our heads, and as we do that, those hurts get bigger. It's kind of like when a piece of gossip starts. The first time you tell it, it's dramatic enough, but by the 10th time you tell it, the whole story is even more outrageous....

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3 Steps To Rebuilding Self-Esteem in Early Recovery

How do you rebuild your self-esteem in the early recovery process? Many of you have been asking for me to address the issue of self-esteem.

I'm going to give you three actionable steps that you can take to build your self-esteem and your self-confidence in a way that will last.

Where does bad self-esteem come from?

Some people think that drug or alcohol addiction is a direct result of bad self-esteem, and I guess, in some situations, it could be. But when you have a drug or alcohol problem, it will result in bad self-esteem.

The reason that happens is you behave in ways that you usually wouldn't because of the addiction. You violate your boundaries in ways that you usually wouldn't. You let go of things that are important to you. You hurt people you care about, and the result is feeling horrible about yourself.

It's hard to dig out of the hole of addiction when you feel terrible and crappy about yourself.

Think about it as being in a relationship with somebody that's abusive....

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How to Overcome An Alcohol Problem Without Going To Rehab

Is it possible to beat your alcohol problem without going to rehab? I think it is definitely possible. I'm going to tell you our secret formula of how we've helped hundreds of people get sober without ever having to go to rehab.

If you or a loved one is struggling with an alcohol use disorder, you may be wondering, what's it going to take to conquer this problem?

Anytime I'm talking to a person trying to overcome an alcohol problem or stop drinking, the first thing that I want to think through is whether or not this person needs a detox. With alcohol, believe it or not, it's one of the more dangerous things to stop cold turkey. If you are highly alcohol dependent and you've been drinking for a while, Cold Turkey can be dangerous. You can be in danger of having a seizure or even developing psychosis.

I have a video that I made a while back to figure out whether or not you need the detox part. You can watch it HERE.

The second thing that you'll have to put a lot of energy and effort...

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What To Expect From Someone Who Is Newly Sober/in Early Recovery

What should you expect if your loved one is in early recovery, as in they're recently sober, they're working on their recovery? The angle we're looking at is trying to help family members have a realistic understanding and expectation about those early days and weeks of the recovery process.

I know you've waited for a long time for your loved one to address this problem. Probably years, right? You've been through the mud and the muck, and you're probably 10 miles past your limit, and so once they finally do decide to get sober, you are way past the point of being ready.

I want you to hold your fire.

Even when someone decides to get sober, it's not an overnight transformation.

Subconsciously we're thinking, "if they could realize they have a problem and decide to stop, it's going to solve all of our problems. Everything is going to be better, and it's just going to be wonderful and rainbows!" Sometimes you have a brief period that is kind of like that.

When people get...

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Amazing New Treatment Option For PTSD- [SGB injection]

Have you heard of SGB injection for post-traumatic stress disorder? Recently, one of our viewers commented on my video and asked me if I knew about this or if I'd made a video about it. It sparked my curiosity because I had never heard of an injection for PTSD.

P T S D stands for post-traumatic stress disorder, and because there is such a high correlation between trauma and addiction, that's why we're deep-diving on the SGB injection. It's going to help us understand better if this injection could be helpful for those that are struggling with these co-occurring disorders.

In a general way, we all know what the word trauma means, but there is a clinical definition for post-traumatic stress disorder. In the counseling world, there's a lot of talk about something called complex trauma.
I thought the best place to begin would be to explain the issue to you, and then we'll get into this SGB injection, how it works, and how it impacts, and how it can be a super helpful resource for...

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How To Help Someone Decide To Get Sober

The first step to helping someone decide to get sober is to stop trying to change them and start trying to understand them. That is the essential ingredient. It's the foundation that you must put down. Otherwise, you're not going to get anywhere.

This is the most effective strategy that a family member can have. This is where every family should start, and if you get stuck in the process along the way, this is where you should return. Think about this as a home base, trying to understand the person and their situation.

This idea came to me when I was doing a video interview with Kyle from Sober Dogs, which you can watch HERE. He asked, how do you change a teenager who doesn't want to be changed? I said that's it! I don't focus on changing them. I focus on trying to understand them. When there's resistance, it's because people don't want to be changed. They don't want to be judged.

If you focus on hearing and understanding someone, you're going to lay down the groundwork for...

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Are You Sabotaging Your Loved Ones' Chances Of Recovery From Drug Or Alcohol Addiction?

Could you be inadvertently sabotaging your loved one's chance at getting sober? As a counselor, there are a few ways that I regularly see family members do that can undo all the work the counselor is doing to help a person who's trying to find sobriety.

Families, I'm about to call you out here, but before I do, let me say I've done every one of these. As I said, we don't inadvertently do these things. We're not trying to sabotage their recovery in any way. The things that we say are natural things to say. When you say these things it can be counter-productive. Not only is it not helpful, but it is pulling everything in the wrong direction.


1. Negative forecasting. I get why you'd want to do this. Negative forecasting is kind of like making future predictions that the person's going to fail or it's never going to work. Let's look at some different ways this might show up. Maybe you have it in your head that your loved one can never get better.


The problem is if you have that in...

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Is Alcoholics Anonymous a Cult? 🤐

alcoholism recovery Nov 30, 2021

Recently, I released a video titled, "Is AA(alcoholics Anonymous) a religion?" You can watch it HERE.

Now, I pose the question, Is alcoholics anonymous really a cult? What about narcotics anonymous or any of the anonymous' for that matter? (read to the end to get my opinion).

You've probably heard that AA is a cult, but we're going to take an objective look and find out what qualities of AA are like a cult and if AA isn't a cult, then what the heck is it? 

I think the best way to tackle this question is to look at the qualities of a cult and see if AA has any of those qualities.
Spoiler alert! -- It has some of those qualities.

The first quality of a cult is having a questionable commitment to a leader. If you're familiar with alcoholics anonymous, you know that it was created by someone named Bill Wilson. Eventually, he brought along a friend named Dr. Bob, if you had to say someone was the leader of alcoholics anonymous, it would be Bill and Bob, for...

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