The BEST Way To Help An Addict/Alcoholic

Unfortunately, most family members don't understand how to play their cards right, and they end up making things worse.

(Watch the first videos of this series here)

To make it easy for you to remember. I'm going to use the acronym, CARD:
CURIOSITY
ACKNOWLEDGE
REINFORCE
DAMAGE CONTROL

C is for Curiosity.

You want to be curious about what's going on with them. Ask questions, but this next part is crucial for you to understand;
You're not asking questions to ensure they did what they said or went where they were supposed to, etc.

That is not an accountability kind of curiosity. I know you've been doing that and it's not very helpful. What you want to do is be genuinely curious about their experience. You want to understand their situation.

Instead of saying, "Did you go to your meeting?"
Say, "What are those meetings even like? Do you ever talk, and who talks? Is it ever annoying? How'd it go in there?"

Ask questions in such a way that lets the person know that they can answer...

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How To Stop Drinking Alcohol On Your Own!

The majority of clients that we see in our office stop drinking on their own without having to go to long-term treatment, like 30, 60, or 90-day treatment. And honestly, it's not that complicated.

Detox 

When quitting alcohol, you have to consider whether or not you need a medical detox from the alcohol. Believe it or not, stopping alcohol from cold turkey is one of the more dangerous things to quit. So before you implement any of the other techniques that I'm about to tell you, it is crucial to have a thorough medical assessment.

Once you have that figured out, here are the critical pieces to doing this on your own, without going to long-term treatment.

1st Key to getting sober without rehab

The first thing that I want you to do is to make drinking a non-option.

What do I mean by non-option?

Make it easier on yourself. For example, one obvious thing is to take the alcohol out of your house and remove the temptation.

2nd Key to getting sober without rehab

The next thing you...

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Prove that You're Serious About Your Recovery

recovery Jul 08, 2022

It can be challenging to prove to your family, loved ones, and friends that you are serious about your recovery especially if you've tried several times before. These are the three most important steps you need to take to prove that you are serious about your recovery.

Don't you hate the dreaded question, "What will be different this time?"

Tip #1- Things you shouldn't say.
These are common statements for people in early recovery to say,
"I just want to put this mess behind me and move forward."

Now on the surface, there doesn't seem to be a lot wrong with that statement. To your family and your loved ones, it sounds like you want to forget every bad thing that happened and move forward without changing anything and never even acknowledging it.

I get why you would want to put it behind you, but most of the time family members think you have to deal with it to make sure it doesn't happen again. A better way to say that same thing would be to say, "You know what, this has been an awful...

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Don't Pick An Addiction Recovery Program Until You See This Video!

recovery Jun 09, 2022

I get asked for recommendations on treatment programs at all different levels of care for people wanting to know where to go for treatment. I'm not the greatest at knowing all the best treatment programs around the country.

But, I know what you should look for when doing your research.

 

What makes an exceptional addiction treatment program?

#1

First and foremost, I think any good program will take the time to listen to the person before the person comes into the program. Not only listen to the person but listen to their family as well.

Every individual has their own specific needs, anxieties, and fears. A good program will take the time to listen to you as an individual, understand what you need, and assure you're a good fit.

Too many programs do something I call "the factory of mental health," where it's similar to an assembly line.

When it comes to addiction, it's even worse than that. You will get responses like, "come back when you're ready, or you're just not willing...

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If Addiction Is A Disease Why Is The Answer Spiritual?

If having an addiction is a disease, why does everyone say the answer is spiritual?
In the world of recovery, there are different factions or groups out there. Every group has different beliefs about what an addiction is and how you fix it.
Some factions of the recovery world believe it is purely a brain illness, and you treat it with medication. Some people think it's a brain illness, but it's also a spiritual abnormality. Then another section of people said, "it's just individuals being bad, and need to act right."


We're going to find the intersection of all those things and find exactly where the crossover is because there's a little truth to each.

One of the first recovery models


One of the first recovery models that had success is the 12-step model. That's why it still exists today.
The 12-step model was born out of a religious model. If you look at the history of AA, which is alcoholics anonymous, you'll know that Bill Wilson, an alcoholic, became interested in a religious...

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2 Essential Components of Relapse Prevention

recovery relapse May 30, 2022

The crucial steps for staying sober

These are the crucial steps for staying sober, regardless of the recovery plan that you're working on or NOT working on. If you're not doing this, you're working on a relapse.

The point of getting sober is that you have the freedom to choose who you want to be in a relationship with, and who you don't. Being sober is about having freedom. And to be honest, being sober is much, much easier than being an active addiction.

Think about all the time, energy, effort, planning, scheming, hiding, worrying, and feeling guilty. Think of all the time and energy you put into doing all those things in active addiction. Guess what? In sobriety, you don't have to do any of those things.

Make a plan.
You have to plan on how to stay and keep your sobriety. Just like you had to plan out how you would use, get it, get away with it.

 Category #1

The first category in planning for sobriety needs to be the big sort of overall general, how you're going...

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5 Ways To Support Someone Trying To Get Sober

We're constantly saying to people trying to overcome an addiction you can't do it yourself. What do you need, what is helpful, what is not, and how can other people support you?

Let's look at what kind of recovery supports are available and what you need to look for. We're also going to identify who will be part of your recovery support network.

On an individual basis, what do you need from the people around you?

There are five categories that you need in a support network. You most likely won't have one person that can do all of these. This is why you need a few different people in your life that serve a few functions.

One of the things you need is someone that can serve as a sounding board.
You need someone you can bounce your thoughts off of and help you sort through stressors and think through problems. Someone that you can talk to freely without feeling judged. The person who does this for you will need to have a few unique characteristics. First and foremost, you have to see...

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If you really want to Overcome A Drug Or Alcohol Addiction, you must do these 3 things!

If you or a loved one are thinking about getting sober and you want to make sure you stay sober, this video is for you! The number one most important first step for relapse prevention is putting these things in place.

These actionable steps will help provide the foundation for maintaining a good long-term recovery.

I recently had a conversation with a lady on a phone consult. She told me how her husband was having a lot of "change talk." He would say he was ready to take all of these first steps to recovery but always fell short. This happens with so many of the clients I see. It's not that the person doesn't mean it necessarily. You can usually tell when someone is genuine about it. They do want this problem to go away. They want to be better and change their ways, but just wanting it isn't enough. You have to take action steps.

The first and most important action step that you need to take is to do all of the things you can think of that would make it hard, If not impossible...

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Addiction Keeps You Stuck In A Victim Mindset!

 

Abusing drugs and alcohol keep you stuck in a victim mentality. I'm going to give you the four reasons why that happens.

This is one of those uncomfortable truth kinds of moments. When you're overusing drugs and alcohol, it most certainly keeps you stuck in a victim mentality. You get stuck on past hurts, you get stuck on things going wrong in your relationship, and you don't get over lost dreams and hopes and disappointments. You stay stuck in financial worries, and there are several reasons for this.

#1 reason why addiction keeps us stuck in victim thinking

The first and one of the biggest reasons this keeps you stuck is because when we use substances, it causes us to ruminate over all the bad things that have ever happened to us.
We replay it over in our heads, and as we do that, those hurts get bigger. It's kind of like when a piece of gossip starts. The first time you tell it, it's dramatic enough, but by the 10th time you tell it, the whole story is even more outrageous....

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3 Steps To Rebuilding Self-Esteem in Early Recovery

How do you rebuild your self-esteem in the early recovery process? Many of you have been asking for me to address the issue of self-esteem.

I'm going to give you three actionable steps that you can take to build your self-esteem and your self-confidence in a way that will last.

Where does bad self-esteem come from?

Some people think that drug or alcohol addiction is a direct result of bad self-esteem, and I guess, in some situations, it could be. But when you have a drug or alcohol problem, it will result in bad self-esteem.

The reason that happens is you behave in ways that you usually wouldn't because of the addiction. You violate your boundaries in ways that you usually wouldn't. You let go of things that are important to you. You hurt people you care about, and the result is feeling horrible about yourself.

It's hard to dig out of the hole of addiction when you feel terrible and crappy about yourself.

Think about it as being in a relationship with somebody that's abusive....

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