5 Important Signs of Genuine Life Change
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[00:00:00] You've got somebody in your life, you're really hoping they make a change for the better, but you find yourself eternally frustrated because the problem just keeps happening over and over again and it feels to you like they're never going to get it, they're never going to figure it out, but very often in a scenario like that, there are actual subtle and not so subtle signs that someone is not just trying to change, but will ultimately be successful with the positive changes they're trying to make in their life. You just have to know how to recognize them. That's what we're going to talk about in this video.
And we're going to be talking about this as it applies to Any kind of positive change, whether that's for a person who's overcoming an addiction, or in a bad relationship, or in a bad career, job, or school situation, any of those problems, or habits, or cycles that we find ourselves in over and over [00:01:00] again that we're trying to break.
They take a lot of effort to break out of, and it doesn't happen on the first try. And when we're trying to support someone through making a change, we get frustrated when it doesn't work the first time, two, or three that they say it's going to work. And so we decide that it means that they don't really mean it, or they're not really trying, or they're not really willing.
That's actually not what it means. The fact that they've tried something and failed at it several times is actually one of the signs that someone is, number one, genuinely trying to change and probably will ultimately be successful at it. So some of the signs that you think are bad signs are actually good signs.
And when you start to view the situation that way, it's a lot easier for you to stick to With the change yourself if you're talking about yourself and or stick with and support Someone who's going through something on their [00:02:00] end Specifically think about it like somebody in a bad relationship Maybe you've got a best friend or your sister or your brother or somebody they're in this toxic relationship Maybe it's even abusive.
Maybe it's really bad and you want them to get out of it They come to you, they talk to you, they tell you all these negative things about the person, all these bad things they did, and you're like, you should leave. You should get out of that relationship. And they're like, I know, but they just keep going back.
They don't get out of it, or they get out of it. But. They only stay broke up a day or two, maybe a week, and they keep going back to the same old relationship, and then you start to feel hopeless and frustrated. But when it comes to these cycles that we're in, whether they're just habits, addictions, or bad cycles, you don't break them in one try.
You don't get out of a bad relationship usually in one try. It's gonna take several times. First, because You probably, when you're in one of these situations, you have [00:03:00] ambivalence about it, which means you have feelings on both sides of the situation.
So that ambivalence is part of the reason why it takes several attempts. And then also, it's a learning process. And we're trying to do better. We're trying to shift something in our life. Particularly applies when it comes to some kind of addiction or habit that you're trying to break. Maybe it's a spending habit or being on social media too much habit, something like that.
It's just, it's hard because it's hardwired into our brains. So some of it is we keep falling back into it just out of. Autopilot. Some of it is a learning process. But what I really want you to understand is, just because somebody keeps making the same mistake over and over again, it doesn't mean they're not trying to fix it.
In fact, it means the opposite of that. It means they're trying to fix it. When you hear someone come to you and complain about a situation, it can get frustrating, especially if you feel like, oh my gosh, they're complaining about this so many times, they're never gonna, they're never gonna make a change.
The [00:04:00] complaining about the situation is them really processing with you out loud that something needs to change. Maybe it's, I need to Out of the job, the addiction, the relationship, whatever, maybe it's I need to change the way I'm interacting inside of that dynamic, but they're complaining to you about it.
And something needs to change is very obvious. It's easy to judge from the outside looking in about what someone needs to do, but it's not so easy to be that person. The reason you're stuck and sorting through all of that, figuring it out, figuring out how to get out of it.
It's not going to happen overnight. Okay. It's going to take several attempts. So when someone is coming and they're complaining to you, maybe they're complaining to you about the boyfriend or the girlfriend or the job or the teacher or whatever it is, don't let yourself get discouraged because that's actually a sign that they're thinking about changing.
They're just processing it out loud with you. When you get too invested in the idea that they're going to make this change, then you eventually you get to compassion fatigue. You get frustrated. You're [00:05:00] like, I'm tired of hearing you talk about this because you never do anything about it. And if you can stay out of that judgment place then you can hang in there a lot longer.
And this is. Especially applies if this is a conversation you're having with yourself about change because when we even look at ourselves making the same mistake over and over, it's easy for us to think I guess I didn't really want to do that. Or I guess I'm not even capable of doing that.
And we start to develop all this negative self talk and that really gets in our way. It makes it that much longer until we get there, and sometimes people actually will stop trying because we just convince ourselves that we're not capable, and we don't understand that things take a while getting out of habitual problematic cycles in relationships and jobs and friendships.
It's not an easy thing to do. So when you hear someone complaining, I saw a big sign. Someone's change wanting to change and working on changing. And sometimes before we actually take those [00:06:00] action steps to change, we're thinking about the change. And so when someone's complaining, that is a sign that they're thinking about change big sign that hopefully if you follow these videos you've heard me talk about before but a big sign of change is What we call change talk and that's a clinical term, but it's not really that fancy It's exactly what it sounds like. They will be talking to you about either a desire to change or a specific thing that they're thinking about changing or an action they're thinking about taking when you hear change talk this is the big giant indicator of change.
You'll hear people say things like, yeah. I got to get out of this situation. Yeah, I got to do something different. Yeah, I need to research some options. I need to stop following it, falling into that same kind of relationship. I need to stop saying yes, when I really want to say no.
That's actual change talk. And now we're moving from just thinking about it to a next level of thinking about it. In addiction recovery, there's something called the stages of [00:07:00] change.
And that really helps you to understand the process that people go through when they're trying to change something in their life. It also helps you to see that it's not an overnight, one time decision thing. It's a process of getting there. And there's a contemplation stage where people are thinking about changing.
The complaining about something the identifying negative things about a situation or the actual change talk where they're talking to you about either wanting to change or that they should change or that they're going to change. Those are huge indicators that means someone is pretty close to.
So when you hear those change talk examples now, when it comes to addiction, you might hear things like I need to cut it back. I'm sick of waking up feeling crappy all the time. I'm sick of fighting with my partner about this all the time. I'm tired of going to work and feeling horrible, hung over all the time, tired of being broke all the time.
Those are all what I would call change talk [00:08:00] signals, indicators. Then a next level would be when you hear people talking about, I'm going to cut it back. I'm gonna have, I'm going to have a hard Heart to heart talk with this person and they start talking about things that they're going to do. Now we're moving into the preparation.
Like I'm getting a plan together about how I'm going to make the change. Now, sometimes if you're on the outside trying to support someone going through change and you hear this, you may find that you get frustrated because maybe they're not saying they're going to do the thing that you want them to do.
Maybe it's like you want them to break up with the person, but they're not talking about breaking up. They're talking about, I'm going to have a talk with them. I'm going to set a boundary with them. Maybe someone's talking about cutting back their drinking and you're like, no, you just need to stop drinking altogether. I don't want you to allow yourself to get frustrated because those are sometimes what I call bargaining. I'm trying to make a change. I'm not ready to make the giant leap.
The more tolerance you can have with people about [00:09:00] things like that and giving them the room and not giving them the judgment and the criticism is going to actually help speed along someone's process. Then you might see actual behavior changes.
This is a, even a bigger step in the right direction. Maybe they stop. Go into the same old places. Maybe they start looking for another job. Maybe they start looking for a counselor or going to a counselor, I should say. And so those are signs that not only is someone thinking about it, someone is actually.
working on it, actively working on it. That's called the active stage of change. And when you see that happening, even if it's not perfect, even if there's some trial and error, those are huge signs towards change. So I don't want you to minimize them because there is going to be a lot of trial and error.
Trial and error, multiple failed attempts at something is a really good indicator that they're going to figure it out eventually. So don't [00:10:00] let that Get you down, right? Like maybe your loved one says, I'm going to do dry January and they didn't even make it the whole January. They made it three weeks and then you're finding yourself get frustrated.
The fact that they wanted to do dry January told you they were going to do dry January. And I actually got three weeks. That's three ginormous indicators that someone is genuinely trying to change and that someone will ultimately be successful. I want you, if you're listening to this video, I want you to stop and think for a second about a cycle that you've been stuck in the past or that you're stuck in right now.
How many times has it taken you to try to change it? A lot. Or how many times did it take you in the past to get out of a bad situation or change a bad habit? It took you lots and lots and lots of tries. So we give ourselves and the people we care about the room and the encouragement and the support.
It's only going to help speed up the process. In order to do that, though, you've got to [00:11:00] keep your own expectations into alignment. Several times this week. I've had sessions with people particularly family members who, Call our office or come to us for consultations and they want to tell us and what happens is, the person will Talk to me or one of the other counselors and say, here's what's going on in the situation.
And how close are they to change? A lot of times when I do these consultations, people are like, yeah, but they're still ordering drinks when we go out to dinner. But they had a big bender the other night And they're telling it to me because they see it as a sign that this is never going to work and they're frustrated and I'm like actually the fact that's happening I'm getting excited about the fact that they ordered a drink at dinner and they only ordered one drink at dinner And they didn't drink before dinner That's actually a big sign of change and a lot of times when i'm talking to someone and they're like, oh, I guess you're right You can see their entire energy shift.
They're it's like A load off their shoulders. It's like they just get lighter their face lights up. They lean in and you can see almost like a level of excitement and it's [00:12:00] like hope comes back into the picture. You've got to look for those little steps and stop measuring it by. They're all the way sober or they're not, or they're all the way out of that relationship or they're not and give credit for the little steps that are in the right direction.
Not only does it help your loved one feel supported, it helps them make the change, but it builds credibility for you when you can notice, hey, I noticed that you've cut back. I noticed that you've been having some better boundaries in that relationship you're in. I noticed that you. Asked for what you needed from your boss.
That was impressive. That probably took a lot of courage instead of only seeing success as Complete 180. We don't usually do a complete 180 When you hear situations where it looks like someone's done a complete 180 It's because you don't know about all the attempts and all the things that they did before for that 180.
And it looks to you like they just decided to do it. They just put their mind to it and they just did it. Like it just happened overnight. It didn't happen overnight. They probably thought [00:13:00] about it for a long time. They probably tried and failed many times before they actually had that 180. It's like what they call like an overnight success is rarely overnight.
It just looks like it because a lot of times when the big change actually happens it's interesting because maybe they tried a hundred times before, but something about when clients tell me certain things, I know this is different. And it's hard for me to explain to you exactly how I know but when they're saying things to me I'm sick and tired of this and you could just hear the conviction in their voice, or they start to be able to verbalize why this is no good for them, why they don't like it anymore.
They start to talk about the consequences and the price they're paying just openly and outwardly. They're actually, Verbalizing this to you. These are signs that something real inside is changing let's see what we got. Sarah says, How often do people have minor slips with addiction?
My son was doing [00:14:00] well for eight months and then his ex upset him and he had two cans and a lime. But after a few days of feeling terrible he came back to help me gardening and feels awful about it. This is exactly what I would want to see in a relapse situation, Sarah. Not that I want to see someone have a lapse.
Obviously, I don't. But someone that had eight months sober, and then they had a quick lapse, and then immediately they're telling you how they're mad at themselves, how they feel awful about it, how they regret doing it. Those are massive signs of change. And when you see that kind of thing happens to you Sarah or to anybody else that's listening What you want to do is damage control it you want to actually help them feel more hopeful about the situation what you don't want to do is say Start telling them what they did wrong Or how they should have handled it different or how they put themselves in a bad situation or how it's here you go relapsing again.
You're never going to make it do not be negative about it because [00:15:00] if they're already expressing to you that they feel bad about it, if you start to jump on to that and try to make them feel more negative about it, then they're going to get defensive and then they're going to start saying the opposite of what you want them to say.
What you want to do is in a situation like Sarah's, you want to say, Hey, look, you had eight months over you. You had a bad day. You made some not great decisions, but you're immediately getting back on track and you want to help them see their own small steps towards change because that helps them feel more hopeful.
A lot of times when someone's had a lapse, that's what I do. I'm like, yeah, but look, you came straight. You literally came straight in here, told me about it. And not only did you tell me, like you told me. Like first thing out of your mouth, you didn't try to like, wait, you didn't try to minimize it. You're like, I got to tell you something and you told it.
Melissa says, my spouse has been sober for a week today. And this time he's gotten help. I'm not sure why I've been emotional. Anyone know why? Shouldn't I be feeling better about this?
I'm happy for [00:16:00] him. What kind of emotional do you mean? Do you mean sad? Do you mean angry? What do you mean? What kind of emotion are you having about it? And it's possible Melissa that you're having mixed feelings about it In fact, I would pretty much expect that you would have some mixed feelings about it but the fact that your husband has been sober for a week And has actually reached out to get some support.
Those are Huge action steps. Those are major signs. That's more than just thinking about it. That's more than just talking the talk. Like these are things I'm putting in place. And the getting help part, especially after they've been sober a week, that's saying not only am I getting sober, but I want to make sure I stay sober.
Jen says, how do I keep believing it when I've been hearing change talk for years? He's going to do sober October and that lasts a day. Dry January lasted two days. I've seen him dump all the booze. years ago and also gets excited and then watch him go out the next day and buy more.
So when I [00:17:00] hear that kind of stuff, Jen, it tells me that someone probably is actually very serious about wanting to change, but something is standing in their way. Since you mentioned the booze, I'm guessing that maybe it's alcohol. And given the fact that You're giving me several examples of the fact they lasted one day or two days.
My guess is that there's a withdrawal issue happening. It doesn't sound to me like it's a desire problem. It sounds like they want to change. But if they're not making it more than a day or two, then it could be that they need medical detox, something like that, especially when it comes to something like alcohol.
So it doesn't mean they're not serious, especially they're pouring the booze out. That's a pretty massive step. It means they're definitely serious about it, but there's some kind of hurdle that they haven't figured out that is stopping them. Because sometimes people don't even realize that's why they're going back is the withdrawal or that they don't know how to overcome it.
Maybe they know they need detox, but they don't have insurance. And so sometimes they need some help figuring out. How to get over a roadblock or some [00:18:00] skills or something like that.
All right, Christine says, How can you be an agent for change if you're long distance and the alcoholic is cutting everyone out? Yeah, I think you're saying Oh, except his son is full of anger. I can't get through anymore. You can send positive thoughts and prayers.
You can try to work with the son, but if the person's not talking to you, you can step back and wish them the best and that kind of thing. But you can't be the person in their ear if they won't talk to you. And as frustrating as that is, you always have to. Respect someone's boundaries.
If someone says, I don't want to talk to you. Don't call me. Don't contact me. You have to respect that.
Phil says, I may have misheard you, but if someone relapses after day, that's the hardest time. So I wouldn't question their seriousness. If it happens, if that happens, that happened to me a thousand times. I think we're on the same page here, Phil. Yeah, that's what I'm saying is if someone relapses after a day, it doesn't necessarily mean they didn't really [00:19:00] try.
It could mean that there's a withdrawal, that there's other things that they need to change in their life that they haven't figured out. Maybe they're relapsing because they're keeping themselves around the same people, the same places. Maybe it's withdrawal, but it doesn't necessarily mean that they didn't really try or that they didn't really mean it.
It's a learning process. So I think we're on the same page, Phil. Dee says, My husband is waiting to go into treatment, but since then his drinking has increased dramatically. I would expect for that to happen. And I don't know if he's waiting, like maybe he's waiting for a bed or something like that for the place he's going to go.
Maybe they don't have room yet. Or maybe he's waiting to find a place. For those of you listening, When at all possible you don't want to have somebody wait for treatment when they say yes I'm gonna go and they agree you literally you want to go straight there.
Don't pass go. Don't collect 200 You want to get them there as fast as possible, but sometimes you can't help it sometimes there's just some logistical things that have to cost them enough weight Sometimes somebody people are on a waiting list But yes, it would be normal for them to drink very heavy before because almost anytime someone [00:20:00] makes a decision to quit, especially if they're making a decision to go to rehab, they get this whole one last time.
I might as well get it all in now because I'm going to have to be on this good behavior. So it doesn't mean that they're not going to do it or they're not going to change necessarily, but it probably means they're like having this one last thing kind of situation going on.
Koala said, Koala 99 says, change talk for nine months, but no action. Started punching walls, verbal and emotional abuse, so I kicked him out. How can I encourage him to take change steps when he is trying to survive homeless now? I get this kind of question a lot, Koala, because to me the question is how do I support someone even though I've kicked them out or even though I've broken up with them.
Sometimes you can't do both things at once. Sometimes you can't set a healthy boundary for yourself and also be their support person. Sometimes you can support the person through helping the people around them, their other friends, their family members, by helping them to support the person.
But it's like a lot of times people feel like I need to get out of this [00:21:00] relationship, but I still care about them and I want them to get better. And it's not always possible for you to have both things at once. So if you're still friends and you're still in conversation with them, then yeah, you can still use all of my same techniques that I teach to do active listening, encouragement, all that kind of stuff that we teach, like in our invisible intervention.
If you're not talking to them you've set a boundary because they're abusive or something like that and you don't want to talk to them Then you can't do both at once
Do you see that alcoholic husbands are more likely to cheat on their spouses and not remember? They normally drink beer but started drinking liquor and they change completely on liquor They are now been detoxed medically and they're in iop And in personal therapy, but I but still drinking, but acknowledging they're alcoholic and need to stop.
Okay. So there's, looks like there's several pieces to this question. The main question here is, do I see that alcoholics are more likely to cheat on their spouse and not remember? I think when someone is [00:22:00] struggling with an addiction and they're married it does increase the chance of infidelity. I actually have a whole video on that.
I made it a while back, it's been a few years back, but it's still out there on YouTube. The not remembering it part if they're alcoholic, a lot of times people that are alcoholic don't remember things that they did the night before because they could be in a blackout state.
So yeah, I guess it would be more likely that they could cheat and not remember it if they're addicted to alcohol. But the more likely to have an affair in general thing is the thing to focus on because what happens usually when one of the spouses has an addiction is that creates a big divide naturally in the relationship.
And then a lot of times It becomes a power struggle between the two people. Both people are becoming more and more resentful. And then if you're not drinking with them or something like that, then they start drinking with buddies or hanging out in drinking situations that are high risk, like bars and stuff like that.
So there's about a million reasons why that someone that's addicted might be more likely to cheat on their spouse. And some drugs [00:23:00] actually increase like your sex drive. So that increases chance. Not necessarily alcohol, but other ones do yes, they're more likely. The not remember part, if it's alcohol, then I would say yes to that.
Christine, how do I encourage conversation about AP recovery? What does AP mean? So I know that it is happening after they left home to recover. How do I encourage conversation? About recovery. So I know what is happening after they left home to recover.
If you're still in conversation with the person Christine, then I, if you're trying to have conversation, cause you're trying to fill out where they at in their thinking, then just come to it from a curious standpoint. Hey, if they're going to meetings, what are those meetings?
What's it like? Has this been hard? Have you run into any hard situations? Has it been easier than you thought and just come with a very genuine interest, curious tone in your voice, not, and I'm trying to check up on you, make sure you're doing all the right things kind of thing.
I'm just interested. And just [00:24:00] let them talk about their experience with what's happening, and then you're going to get a little window into their thinking, their attitude about what's happening, and that'll give you some clues about. how well they're doing, how likely they are to stick, and stuff like that.
Jodi says, why do they cut family out? I'm sure there's a million reasons, Jodi, but mostly they get resentful at family because they feel like the family's trying to control them, they feel like the family's trying to judge them, they feel like the family's trying to interfere with their ability to do their addiction, and all of those things are probably somewhat true.
They just build these giant resentments because there's always, when someone has an addiction, they have to have a villain. They have some kind of bad guy situation where they focus on that instead of focusing on their self. And so they'll make some other person the villain. Usually it's the person close to them, like their parent or their spouse, maybe their boss, but someone's going to be the villain.
And they may choose to think, a [00:25:00] lot of times they think that their problem is that person, the bad guy, and not the addiction. Their change talk is, I'm going to cut you out, because they see that's their problem. My spouse is my problem, my parent is my problem, not the addiction. Crystal says, my husband and I have been separated but developed a healthy relationship that dissolved. He has his own rental. He returned to family, but still denies a drug use problem. Last night he said. He's been stressed about his financial issues and the shame he has of his kids thinking that he is a drug user who wasn't loyal in his marriage.
I said sobriety would help him have clarity as it seems like things are unmanageable. He says he doesn't see the drug problem is this change talk. I told him I'm here for him if he wants to change but couldn't rescue him financially. Some of what he's saying is a little bit like it looks like change talk.
And that was in the first part there, crystal, where [00:26:00] you said he's ashamed that his children see him as a drug abuser and that kind of thing. And someone that was disloyal, but I don't know for sure that's changed shock. And the reason I say that in this situation, crystal is because you. I would have to be there and hear it or maybe know something about the person who know the intent because it could Be that they're trying to make you feel bad because a lot of times when people's kids get mad at them because of an addiction They feel like the other spouse turned the kids against them when most time that is not the case But they almost always think oh You know my son my daughter or whatever They're just upset with me because my wife's constantly telling them all these bad things about me So it that could be change talk or it could be a jab at you.
I don't know the other problem The other part of the situation where you said he says he doesn't see the drug problem that is the opposite of change talk is something that we call sustained talk and it's them talking about wanting to stay the same that's why they call it sustained so staying the same keep it going so i'm not sure if i would call [00:27:00] that change talk not even the first part which might have looked like it but it could have been like passive aggressive disguised not change talk.
Shristi
says loved one tricks himself into one last time. I am too stressed, trap and ends up drinking after two or three weeks of sobriety happens since three or four months. And he says he is trying hard
initially he agreed he would get to, he would get two or three days a week. And then two weeks and now it's 20 to 25 days. What do you think? I think he's heading in the right direction. Is there anything I can do to help him out? He's currently not in a recovery group and he's trying on his own, but it's not close.
He's not, I think you're saying not open to therapy or counseling. Cause what you're saying is at first he might get two or three days sober and then he would get a week or two sober. And now it gets almost a month sober at a time. So he's learning, he's figuring it out and he's getting better and better results.
So to me, I would be pretty optimistic about going To counseling I was working with someone this week [00:28:00] where this was an issue. Sometimes people will set a boundary around well, if you don't go to counseling i'm out of here I always encourage people against that same thing goes for if you don't go to meetings or get a sponsor I'm out of here that's not really the result that you're looking for the result you're looking for is change of behavior, which is for them to address the addiction.
As long as they're addressing it and they're having success and things are moving in the right direction. So make sure you focus on the end result.
And I think you are seeing that, Tristi. So I see that as positive.
Nicole says, if I set boundaries, no, I can't help with money. Do I become the bad guy? Yes you. We do become the bad guy when you set a limit and it's just like the question before that we had about how do I help someone when I've had, when we broke up or I kicked them out of the house.
Sometimes no matter what you do, when you set a boundary with someone, they're going to build a resentment and they're going to feel sorry for themselves and they're going to see you as the bad guy. Are you actually the bad guy? No but you have to [00:29:00] set those healthy boundaries. Ways you can say it and present it that make you less likely to be a bad guy. But I don't know that there's a way to ensure that they don't blame you altogether. That will for sure land you in the bad guy role. If you can set the boundary and not give them money, but say it with some humility and some empathy, then it makes you less likely to end up in the bad guy role. So a lot of times it's how you present it. Rachel says, My husband has been in a recovery center for six months.
What are some change talk that I can look out for? What you want to look for, Rachel, is signs that he's going to stay changed, right? So I feel like this is a next level. And this is a good question. When you start hearing him talk about, I feel better.
My relationships are better being excited about things when you start hearing, talking positively about how his life is now, those are signs that someone likes their life so much better that they're [00:30:00] very. A lot more likely to stick with it because they're changing who they are as a person and they're feeling optimistic about what is happening and what's going to happen for them.
And so that's what I would be listening for in a situation like this. And I would, when you hear something like that, I call it a seed and you want to water it. Sometimes with clients, I'll even point it out. I'm like. I'm like, I gotta tell you, you seem so much more happy.
You seem like you have so much more energy. You are so more enthusiastic. You're handling your relationship problems so much better. You seem so much more resilient. So even if they're not saying it, I will sometimes point it out to them in a really positive way. And that helps them see their own positive change.
Late Night 89 says, How do you communicate with an addicted loved one when they are in a constant state of denial and drink every day? I have several videos about how to get through to someone in denial.
And there's an, in fact, there's a whole playlist. If you go to my main channel page, you can hit the playlist about dealing with denial. We have a an online [00:31:00] course that teaches you like, if you want it step by step exactly what to say and when to say it and how to say it, you can look at our invisible intervention because I teach.
All of those skills in there. I teach all that on for free on YouTube. Actually, the invisible intervention just puts it in a very laid out like map for you, but mostly the key to it is You want to have empathy, and you want them to know you have empathy, and you do that by expressing empathy for them, understanding their point of view, but at the same time, you want to allow them to experience the natural consequences.
What most people do late night is they want to Fix the problems that the person has in their life, pay the bills or get them out of the DUI or, get the teacher to give them another chance at taking the test or something like that, but then be mad at them inside the relationship. You want to do the opposite.
You want to play the good guy But you want to let the universe or life play the bad guy. That's the combination that gets people to change the fastest It's a combination that gets people out of [00:32:00] denial. Alright guys, we are out of time for today as Always you are the best.
Don't forget to get those downloads in the description. There's also the links If you want to have a consult you want to talk to somebody about your situation those links are down there I know on the lives. It's you only have room to give me a few sentences So the links if you want to talk to somebody about your situation are in the description below There's lots of free downloads coaching whatever, it's all down there and I will see you guys next thursday We are live every thursday at one.
See you soon. Bye everybody
