"Is this what my loved one needs? 😟💭" How To Support A Recovering Addict

Uncategorized Nov 26, 2024

How to Support an Addicted Loved One Without Losing Yourself

Supporting a loved one through addiction is one of the most challenging journeys a person can face. While your love and commitment are unwavering, you may find yourself feeling drained, anxious, and resentful. You’re running on empty, yet everyone tells you to “be positive” and “stay supportive.”

But how do you do that when there’s nothing left to give? It’s time to focus on filling your own cup so you can continue to show up for them—and yourself.

Understanding the Impact of Addiction on Family Members

When addiction affects someone you care about, it often consumes not just their life but yours as well. It’s easy to get caught in a cycle of overthinking, worrying, and feeling responsible for their recovery. This obsession can leave you emotionally, physically, and financially depleted.

Remember this: you cannot pour from an empty cup. Supporting your loved one requires emotional resources, and to stay five steps ahead of addiction, you must refill your tank.

What Does “Self-Care” Really Mean?

The term "self-care" can feel cheesy or superficial, but the concept is crucial. Think of self-care as fuel for your willpower tank. To refill this tank, consider these categories:

1. Give Your Mind a Break

Obsessing over your loved one’s addiction won’t solve the problem—it only drains you further. Set boundaries for how much mental energy you dedicate to thinking about their addiction.

Redirect Your Thoughts: When you notice yourself spiraling, intentionally shift your focus to something else.
Take a Step Back: It’s okay to allow yourself moments where addiction isn’t the center of your world.

2. Engage in Activities You Love

What hobbies, activities, or interests bring you joy? Don’t give them up to babysit the situation. Whether it’s yoga, trivia nights, or simply reading a good book, make time for the things that nourish your soul.

3. Prioritize Physical Health

Your body and mind are interconnected. Regular exercise, balanced nutrition, and proper sleep can significantly impact your ability to cope with stress.

4. Set Financial Boundaries

Addiction can create a financial strain, especially if you’re supporting your loved one financially. Be cautious about overextending yourself, and make sure you’re not sacrificing your own financial stability.

5. Limit Emotional Overload

If your loved one constantly leans on you for support, venting, or late-night crisis calls, it’s okay to set boundaries. Decide how much emotional energy you’re able to give without sacrificing your own well-being.

The Power of Boundaries

Boundaries aren’t about controlling your loved one; they’re about protecting yourself. If you struggle to set limits, start with small steps:

Acknowledge Their Perspective: Use phrases like, “I know this may feel unfair,” or “I understand this is a change.”
Communicate Clearly: Be firm but kind when expressing your boundaries.

For example, you might say, “I understand you’re going through a lot, but I need to take care of myself too. I can’t talk about this after 9 PM.”

Show Yourself Grace

You’re going to make mistakes. You may lose your temper, set a boundary too late, or say something you regret. That’s okay—you’re human. What matters is how you recover and move forward.

Give yourself the same compassion you’d offer a friend in your situation. Acknowledge the difficulty of what you’re facing and remind yourself that it’s okay not to have all the answers.

Find Support That Works for You

Support is a two-way street: it can provide understanding and actionable advice. Consider:

Peer Support Groups: Connect with others who understand your experience.
Professional Guidance: A counselor or coach can offer personalized strategies to navigate your unique situation.
Community Resources: Free groups like our Facebook community provide a safe space to share and learn from others in similar situations.

Final Thoughts

Helping a loved one with addiction should not mean losing yourself in the process. By prioritizing your well-being and setting healthy boundaries, you can be the supportive, loving person they need—without sacrificing your own happiness.

What strategies have helped you navigate this journey? Share your thoughts in the comments below—your insight could be exactly what someone else needs to hear.

Amber Hollingsworth

If fear of relapse is keeping you up at night, check out my next video on overcoming that fear. Watch it here.