It can be challenging to prove to your family, loved ones, and friends that you are serious about your recovery especially if you've tried several times before. These are the three most important steps you need to take to prove that you are serious about your recovery.

Don't you hate the dreaded question, "What will be different this time?"

Tip #1- Things you shouldn't say.
These are common statements for people in early recovery to say,
"I just want to put this mess behind me and move forward."

Now on the surface, there doesn't seem to be a lot wrong with that statement. To your family and your loved ones, it sounds like you want to forget every bad thing that happened and move forward without changing anything and never even acknowledging it.

I get why you would want to put it behind you, but most of the time family members think you have to deal with it to make sure it doesn't happen again. A better way to say that same thing would be to say, "You know what, this has been an awf...

I get asked for recommendations on treatment programs at all different levels of care for people wanting to know where to go for treatment. I'm not the greatest at knowing all the best treatment programs around the country.

But, I know what you should look for when doing your research.

What makes an exceptional addiction treatment program?

#1

First and foremost, I think any good program will take the time to listen to the person before the person comes into the program. Not only listen to the person but listen to their family as well.

Every individual has their own specific needs, anxieties, and fears. A good program will take the time to listen to you as an individual, understand what you need, and assure you're a good fit.

Too many programs do something I call "the factory of mental health," where it's similar to an assembly line.

When it comes to addiction, it's even worse than that. You will get responses like, "come back when you're ready, or you're just not willing en...

If having an addiction is a disease, why does everyone say the answer is spiritual?
In the world of recovery, there are different factions or groups out there. Every group has different beliefs about what an addiction is and how you fix it.
Some factions of the recovery world believe it is purely a brain illness, and you treat it with medication. Some people think it's a brain illness, but it's also a spiritual abnormality. Then another section of people said, "it's just individuals being bad, and need to act right."

We're going to find the intersection of all those things and find exactly where the crossover is because there's a little truth to each.

One of the first recovery models

One of the first recovery models that had success is the 12-step model. That's why it still exists today.
The 12-step model was born out of a religious model. If you look at the history of AA, which is alcoholics anonymous, you'll know that Bill Wilson, an alcoholic, became interested in a religious move...

The crucial steps for staying sober

These are the crucial steps for staying sober, regardless of the recovery plan that you're working on or NOT working on. If you're not doing this, you're working on a relapse.

The point of getting sober is that you have the freedom to choose who you want to be in a relationship with, and who you don't. Being sober is about having freedom. And to be honest, being sober is much, much easier than being an active addiction.

Think about all the time, energy, effort, planning, scheming, hiding, worrying, and feeling guilty. Think of all the time and energy you put into doing all those things in active addiction. Guess what? In sobriety, you don't have to do any of those things.

Make a plan.
You have to plan on how to stay and keep your sobriety. Just like you had to plan out how you would use, get it, get away with it.

 Category #1

The first category in planning for sobriety needs to be the big sort of overall general, how you're going to keep your...

We're constantly saying to people trying to overcome an addiction you can't do it yourself. What do you need, what is helpful, what is not, and how can other people support you?

Let's look at what kind of recovery supports are available and what you need to look for. We're also going to identify who will be part of your recovery support network.

On an individual basis, what do you need from the people around you?

There are five categories that you need in a support network. You most likely won't have one person that can do all of these. This is why you need a few different people in your life that serve a few functions.

One of the things you need is someone that can serve as a sounding board.
You need someone you can bounce your thoughts off of and help you sort through stressors and think through problems. Someone that you can talk to freely without feeling judged. The person who does this for you will need to have a few unique characteristics. First and foremost, you have to see...

If you or a loved one are thinking about getting sober and you want to make sure you stay sober, this video is for you! The number one most important first step for relapse prevention is putting these things in place.

These actionable steps will help provide the foundation for maintaining a good long-term recovery.

I recently had a conversation with a lady on a phone consult. She told me how her husband was having a lot of "change talk." He would say he was ready to take all of these first steps to recovery but always fell short. This happens with so many of the clients I see. It's not that the person doesn't mean it necessarily. You can usually tell when someone is genuine about it. They do want this problem to go away. They want to be better and change their ways, but just wanting it isn't enough. You have to take action steps.

The first and most important action step that you need to take is to do all of the things you can think of that would make it hard, If not impossible to co...

Abusing drugs and alcohol keep you stuck in a victim mentality. I'm going to give you the four reasons why that happens.

This is one of those uncomfortable truth kinds of moments. When you're overusing drugs and alcohol, it most certainly keeps you stuck in a victim mentality. You get stuck on past hurts, you get stuck on things going wrong in your relationship, and you don't get over lost dreams and hopes and disappointments. You stay stuck in financial worries, and there are several reasons for this.

#1 reason why addiction keeps us stuck in victim thinking

The first and one of the biggest reasons this keeps you stuck is because when we use substances, it causes us to ruminate over all the bad things that have ever happened to us.
We replay it over in our heads, and as we do that, those hurts get bigger. It's kind of like when a piece of gossip starts. The first time you tell it, it's dramatic enough, but by the 10th time you tell it, the whole story is even more outrageous. The...

How do you rebuild your self-esteem in the early recovery process? Many of you have been asking for me to address the issue of self-esteem.

I'm going to give you three actionable steps that you can take to build your self-esteem and your self-confidence in a way that will last.

Where does bad self-esteem come from?

Some people think that drug or alcohol addiction is a direct result of bad self-esteem, and I guess, in some situations, it could be. But when you have a drug or alcohol problem, it will result in bad self-esteem.

The reason that happens is you behave in ways that you usually wouldn't because of the addiction. You violate your boundaries in ways that you usually wouldn't. You let go of things that are important to you. You hurt people you care about, and the result is feeling horrible about yourself.

It's hard to dig out of the hole of addiction when you feel terrible and crappy about yourself.

Think about it as being in a relationship with somebody that's abusive. W...

Is it possible to beat your alcohol problem without going to rehab? I think it is definitely possible. I'm going to tell you our secret formula of how we've helped hundreds of people get sober without ever having to go to rehab.

If you or a loved one is struggling with an alcohol use disorder, you may be wondering, what's it going to take to conquer this problem?

Anytime I'm talking to a person trying to overcome an alcohol problem or stop drinking, the first thing that I want to think through is whether or not this person needs a detox. With alcohol, believe it or not, it's one of the more dangerous things to stop cold turkey. If you are highly alcohol dependent and you've been drinking for a while, Cold Turkey can be dangerous. You can be in danger of having a seizure or even developing psychosis.

I have a video that I made a while back to figure out whether or not you need the detox part. You can watch it HERE.

The second thing that you'll have to put a lot of energy and effor...

What should you expect if your loved one is in early recovery as if they're recently sober and working on their recovery? The angle we're looking at is trying to help family members have a realistic understanding and expectation about those early days and weeks of recovery.

I know you've waited for a long time for your loved one to address this problem. Probably years, right? You've been through the mud and the muck, and you're probably 10 miles past your limit, so once they decide to get sober, you are way past the point of being ready.

I want you to hold your fire.

Even when someone decides to get sober, it's not an overnight transformation.

Sometimes you have a brief period that is kind of like that. Subconsciously we're thinking, "if they could realize they have a problem and decide to stop, it's going to solve all of our problems. Everything is going to be better, and it's just going to be wonderful and rainbows!"

When people get clean and sober, we call that the pink cloud...