This Is How Self-Pity & Victim Mindset Prevents You From Getting Sober
Breaking the Cycle: How Self-Pity Can Trigger Relapse and How to Stop It
You've probably heard the saying, "Pride comes before the fall." But when it comes to addiction recovery, I’d argue that *self-pity* comes before the fall. Of course, many factors can lead to relapse, but the biggest and final domino that usually topples is self-pity. This mindset can sneak in, quietly giving us permission to slip back into old habits.
Why Does Self-Pity Lead to Relapse?
It’s simple—stressful events or emotional triggers can't cause us to relapse by themselves. They can only push us toward relapse if we *let* them. And the most common way we give ourselves permission to use again is by falling into a victim mindset. This way of thinking allows us to justify and rationalize why we "deserve" to fall back into addiction.
So, in addiction recovery, it's crucial to learn how to recognize and combat this negative thinking. But why do we even fall into the trap of self-pity in the...
Win Over Addiction With These Small But Powerful Habits
3 Simple Daily Rituals to Help You Maintain Sobriety: Tips from Amber Hollingsworth
Maintaining sobriety can feel like a daunting challenge, but doing a few simple daily rituals can make a significant difference in your recovery journey. In this blog post, we'll explore three effective habits that are easy to incorporate into your daily routine. Plus, we'll provide you with three free resources to support your journey and keep you on track.
1. Plan for Your Sobriety
When you commit to sobriety, it’s essential to plan how you’ll maintain it. Just like your addiction requires careful planning, so does your recovery. In the early stages, sobriety demands more effort and planning. Here’s how you can set yourself up for success:
- Create Accountability Set up systems to help you stay accountable. This could involve leaving cash and credit cards at home or choosing specific routes to avoid triggers.
- Prepare for Challenges: Plan activities that keep you engaged and away...
Are You Addicted? Find Out With The Criteria Used By Professionals
Are You Addicted? Discover the Criteria Used by Professionals to Find Out
Marijuana addiction is a sneaky, often overlooked issue that can be hard to identify. In fact, of all the addictions I treat, it's probably the hardest for people to recognize. In this post, we'll delve into the clinical criteria for marijuana addiction, officially known as Marijuana Use Disorder, and explore how these criteria can stay hidden under the radar.
Understanding Marijuana Use Disorder
Before we jump into the criteria, it's essential to understand that the clinical criteria for Marijuana Use Disorder are the same as those used for other substance addictions, like alcohol or methamphetamine. The only difference is the substance involved. By understanding these criteria, you can learn to recognize potential signs of addiction in yourself or someone you care about.
The 11 Criteria for Marijuana Use Disorder
Let's break down the 11 criteria used by professionals to diagnose Marijuana Use Disorder. As...
Amber Reacts: Chalene Johnson Opens Up About Getting Sober
Why More People Are Choosing to Ditch Alcohol (And Why You Might Want to Consider It, Too)
Have you noticed a growing trend lately? More and more people are choosing to stop drinking alcohol—not because they think they’re alcoholics, but because they’re rethinking the impact alcohol has on their lives. One notable example is fitness influencer Chalene Johnson, who recently shared her decision to quit drinking.
This isn’t just about giving up alcohol; it’s about being honest with ourselves about how it affects our health, relationships, confidence, and even our careers.
Why Quit Drinking When You're Not an Alcoholic?
For a long time, society has told us that unless we have a problem with alcohol, there’s no reason to stop drinking. Some of us even hold onto the idea that a little alcohol is healthy. But research tells a different story—one that’s worth paying attention to.
Alcohol is a toxin. No matter what type you choose, it’s...
The Real Reason You're Struggling Getting Sober
The Real Reason You Can’t Stay Sober—And How to Overcome It
Staying sober is a battle that varies depending on what stage of recovery you’re in. If you’ve ever wondered why it seems impossible to stay sober even when you genuinely want to, the answer lies in the specific phase of sobriety you’re currently navigating. Over my 20+ years of helping people get and stay sober, I’ve identified three distinct phases of recovery, each with its own unique set of challenges and hidden obstacles.
In this post, I’ll break down these phases for you, revealing the common pitfalls at each stage and offering practical advice to help you stay on track. If you’re serious about overcoming addiction, whether for yourself or a loved one, this information is invaluable.
Phase 1: The First Few Days—Overcoming Withdrawal
If you’re struggling to stay sober for more than two to three days, the issue might be related to withdrawal. In the first 48...
The Harsh Reality Behind Being A Highly Functional Alcoholic
Facing Hard Truths: Understanding Functional Alcoholism
A lot of people use the term "functional alcoholic" to downplay the severity of a drinking problem. But let's be honest here: functional alcoholism is just a deceptive label masking the reality of someone battling alcohol use disorder. In this blog post, I'll delve into three hard truths about functional alcoholism and how to confront it head-on.
1. No Such Thing as "Functional Alcoholism": Despite the common usage of the term, there's no clinical diagnosis for "functional alcoholism." As an addiction counselor with over 20 years of experience, I can attest to this fact. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is diagnosed based on a set of 11 symptoms, ranging from mild to severe. It's crucial to understand that alcoholism isn't a fixed label but rather a spectrum reflecting the progression of the disorder.
2. The Illusion of Functionality: Many individuals mistakenly believe they're functional alcoholics because they maintain aspects of...
Get Sober Without Going To 12 Step Meetings
Embracing Sobriety: Shifting Perspectives for Lasting Change
If you're looking to break free from addiction without relying on the usual 12-step programs, here's a fresh perspective: Let go of the "alcoholic" label.
Let's be real: if you're questioning your relationship with alcohol, it's probably causing chaos in your life. Instead of getting hung up on labels, let's ask ourselves a more important question: How does alcohol affect where I'm headed?
Consider this: Does alcohol fit with the person you want to be? Does it support your roles as a parent, partner, professional, or friend? If you're having doubts, it's probably time for a change.
Think of yourself like a plant. Instead of watering yourself with alcohol, which stunts your growth, it's time for a mindset shift.
Now, I get it. The 12-step approach isn't for everyone, and that's okay. Drawing from my 22 years of helping people find sobriety, I've seen many paths to success, all centered on personal growth.
In your journey,...
Does Polyvagal Theory Explain Why People With Addictions Make Such Bad Choices?
Special guest Justin Sunseri, LMFT, explains the relationship between trauma, addiction, and the Polyvagal Theory.
Learn more from Justin about Polyvagal Theory and self-regulationhttps://www.justinlmft.com/
ADDITIONAL RESOURCES:
FREE Downloadable Resources
Get access to our advanced family recovery skills
Watch this video next: 
You've Stuck By Them Through Their Addiction, and Now They Decide To Leave You
This situation came up in one of our groups recently. Someone posted about how their boyfriend of five years left them for another girl, and now he's sober, they're together, and this person is left feeling like, what does she have that I don't have? Of course, it always hurts if somebody breaks up with you or leaves a relationship. It hurts when someone breaks up with you if you don't like them. So it digs in when someone you've put up with all of their crap and forgiven them a million times, stood by their side, had their back, fixed their problems. It is like a jab in the heart when this person leaves you.
Because not only does the loss hurt, but the pure rejection of it feels massive. So I want you to understand how and why that happens.
Their addiction has been wanting to get rid of you for a long time because you're the one standing in the way between them and the addiction. In most cases, someone's addiction will trigger you to act crazy, be the bad guy role, yell,...
