Are you exhausted from hearing excuses after excuses from your addicted loved one?
If you’re stuck in the frustrating cycle of “I’m not that bad,” or “I can quit on my own,” you’re not alone—and you’re exactly where you need to be.
This guide is going to give you the tools to not just cope with the resistance, but to navigate through it with confidence and strategy.
Let’s talk about how to stop spinning your wheels and start making progress—even when your loved one says they’re “not ready.”
First, let’s call out the most common objections you’ve probably heard:
"I’m not that bad."
"I can stop whenever I want."
"I don’t have time."
"I don’t want to leave my kids/family."
"People will judge me."
"I've tried before and it didn’t work."
"I don’t want to talk to strangers."
"I’m not ready yet."
"I don’t trust those programs."
"It’s just too expensive."
Sound familiar? These aren’t just excuses—they’re information. And when you shift your mindset to see them as clues, you gain power in how you respond.
All objections fall into one of three main categories:
These sound like:
“I’m not like those people.”
“I don’t need help.”
“I can quit on my own.”
How to respond: Recognize that denial is a stage of change, not a dead end. Most people move through it when they experience the consequences of addiction, especially with the right support.
These include:
“I’m scared of what people will think.”
“I’m embarrassed.”
“I’ve tried and failed before.”
How to respond: These objections are based in insecurity. Your job is to create a safe space, not a battlefield. Reflect empathy, not judgment.
These sound like:
“I can’t miss work.”
“It’s too expensive.”
“Who’s going to take care of my kids (or dog)?”
How to respond: Great news—these are the easiest objections to overcome. You can often help brainstorm or problem-solve around logistics.
If you want to respond effectively (and not just react out of frustration), use this simple acronym:
Which of the 3 categories does their excuse fall into—Denial, Fear, or Practical?
Once you know that, you’ll know how to respond with the right tone and energy.
Find a piece of truth in what they’re saying. For example:
“I can totally understand not wanting to talk about personal stuff in a group. That’s tough.”
“Missing work is a real concern—I’d feel the same way.”
This isn’t agreeing with their choice—it’s building trust by showing that you’re listening.
Help them overcome the real issue:
Is it logistics? Help brainstorm solutions.
Is it shame? Offer a low-pressure way to open up.
Is it denial? Stay consistent, calm, and let reality do the talking.
Keep an ear out for change talk. Even resistant people drop little hints:
“I’m tired of waking up feeling sick.”
“I hate what it’s doing to my kids.”
“My job’s on the line.”
Write these down (mentally or literally). Use their own motivations to gently steer conversations when the time is right.
If your loved one completely shuts down or blows up anytime you mention their behavior—that’s an objection too. Usually, it falls into the Fear/Shame category.
Your next step: make it safer to talk about. Choose calm moments, avoid blame, and find less intimidating ways to open the door (like asking curious, open-ended questions).
Most people don’t decide to change overnight. They wrestle with it. They go through trial and error. Your role isn’t to force change; it’s to be the steady, understanding support that helps them find their own way there.
If you do this with empathy, consistency, and strategy, you can help shift even the most resistant person toward real recovery.
Want help figuring out exactly where your loved one is in the change process—and what you should (and shouldn’t) say?
🎁 Download my free guide:
Understanding the Stages of Change & Change Talk
Every excuse is a peek inside your loved one’s thoughts and fears. When you stop fighting the resistance and start studying it, you’ll see real progress faster than you ever thought possible.
Instead of pushing harder, start listening deeper. The shift begins there.
Amber Hollingsworth
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📆Make An Appointment With One Of Our Specialists: https://www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/consultations
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