How to Spot the Signs of a Relapse: A Guide for Loved Ones

Are you feeling like something just isn't right with your loved one? Maybe you’ve got that sneaky suspicion that they’ve relapsed, but they haven’t come forward yet. You’re stuck questioning yourself, wondering if you should confront them or if it’s all in your head. Before you dive in, it’s essential to figure out if they really have relapsed. In this post, we’ll break down both the obvious and not-so-obvious signs of relapse so you can put your self-doubt to rest.

The Obvious Signs of Relapse

When we think about the signs of a relapse, we usually jump to the most concrete and straightforward ones. These are harder to miss but can still leave room for doubt when your loved one starts getting defensive.

Here are some of the telltale signs:

• Missing money or time: If they were supposed to be somewhere but weren’t, or it took them way longer than expected, this could be a warning sign.
• Unreachable: Suddenly not answering...

Understanding Short-Term Sobriety: What It Means and How to Navigate It

Are you witnessing your loved one embark on short bursts of sobriety, only to falter when it comes to committing long-term? This is a perplexing situation, leaving you questioning the reasons behind these cycles and how best to support them. In today's discussion, we'll delve into the various dynamics at play, helping you decipher these behaviors and offering insights on how to approach them effectively.

1. Setbacks in Long-Term Sobriety: Sometimes, individuals genuinely aspire for lasting sobriety but encounter setbacks along the way. Identifying triggers or unresolved issues is crucial in breaking this cycle and fostering sustained recovery.

2. Testing Self-Control: Others may engage in short-term sobriety as a self-validation exercise, attempting to prove they aren't bound by addiction. However, true addiction lies in the inability to control usage, not intermittent breaks consistently.

3. Exploring Sobrie...

Facing Hard Truths: Understanding Functional Alcoholism

A lot of people use the term "functional alcoholic" to downplay the severity of a drinking problem. But let's be honest here: functional alcoholism is just a deceptive label masking the reality of someone battling alcohol use disorder. In this blog post, I'll delve into three hard truths about functional alcoholism and how to confront it head-on.

1. No Such Thing as "Functional Alcoholism": Despite the common usage of the term, there's no clinical diagnosis for "functional alcoholism." As an addiction counselor with over 20 years of experience, I can attest to this fact. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is diagnosed based on a set of 11 symptoms, ranging from mild to severe. It's crucial to understand that alcoholism isn't a fixed label but rather a spectrum reflecting the progression of the disorder.

2. The Illusion of Functionality: Many individuals mistakenly believe they're functional alcoholics because they maintain aspects of...

10 Warning Signs of an Alcohol Problem You Might Be Overlooking

Are you worried that your relationship with alcohol might be becoming problematic? Often, the signs of alcohol misuse can be subtle, sneaking up on us without notice until they become glaringly obvious. But catching these signs early can make all the difference in getting back on track. Let's delve into some of the red flags that might indicate it's time to take a closer look at your drinking habits:

1. Loss of Interest in Non-Alcohol Related Activities
- Have you found yourself losing interest in hobbies or activities that don't involve alcohol? Making excuses to avoid social situations unless alcohol is involved could be a sign of dependency.

2. Planning Life Around Alcohol
- Do you find yourself constantly planning your days, vacations, or meals around alcohol consumption? This preoccupation can signal a deeper issue with alcohol dependency.

3. Sensitivity or Avoidance of the Topic
- Are you uncomfortable discussi...

The Three Components of Addiction: A Deep Dive into the Brain's Role

Understanding addiction involves more than just knowing about the role of dopamine in the brain. In this blog post, we'll explore how three crucial components come together to create a comprehensive understanding of addictive thinking and behavior. From the desire-inducing power of dopamine to the rebound effect and the compromise of judgment, each component plays a pivotal role in the intricate web of addiction.

1. Dopamine: The Desire Chemical Dopamine is often misunderstood as the "feel good" chemical, but its true role is the ignition of desire. When released in the brain, dopamine motivates and fuels the craving for something. The catch? Dopamine tricks you into thinking that achieving your goal will bring the anticipated satisfaction. However, this feeling is often short-lived, leading to a perpetual cycle of wanting and pursuing.

Example: The excitement of acquiring a new possession fades quickly, leaving...

In today's world, the struggle with addiction is all too common. Whether you're battling addiction personally or trying to support a loved one on their journey to recovery, it's essential to approach the process with the right mindset. In this blog post, we'll explore a powerful message emphasizing building yourself up rather than tearing yourself down when facing addiction.

Recognizing the Need for a New Approach

Even if you're talking about yourself, you don't need to tear yourself down anymore because, I promise you, addiction has already done enough of that.

Addiction can be relentless in its destructive nature. It chips away at your self-esteem and can leave you feeling defeated. The first step toward recovery is recognizing that your addiction does not define you. Instead of dwelling on self-blame, it's time to build yourself up.

Shifting the Focus to Strengths

What you need is you need to build yourself up enough to realize that you do have the strength to conquer this.

The problem with 12 steps is that, even though they do teach a lot of things well, they do it in a real indirect way, and they're hoping you pick up on the vibe and you learn the lesson, but sometimes if you're like me, you can be a little dense, and miss it. So they're having you practice the 12 steps and call your sponsor, but they could better connect the dots.

If you follow the plan, you will likely figure out most of the steps. Still, I want to make sure and call your attention to these five skills because not only are they not talked about directly, they're just not talked about, and you need them if you want to stay sober and get past the first month or so of recovery.

The rest is mostly about sanity management. How do you stay sober? You keep your sanity intact. So, many recovery skills have nothing to do with the substances. How do I keep myself in a place to not need those? You have to keep yourself in a healthy place, which means you need to keep your life somewhat order...

So your spouse finally admits that they have a drinking problem but refuse treatment. This kind of situation is a lot more common than you might think. I'm going to tell you three things you should ask for if you face this dilemma.

But before we go much further, Let's discuss why this is a common dilemma—going into treatment, like 30, 60, or 90 days of treatment, is the last thing someone will agree to address an addiction problem.
As frustrating as it is, if you stop and think about it, it's understandable.

You're away from family and can't work for 30 days or more. Then, you get told when you can eat and what to do; people ask many questions, and it's not something you look forward to doing.

If you're in the dilemma of having a spouse who acknowledges they have a drinking problem but don't want to go to treatment, I want you to recognize why they might be frustrated. It doesn't mean that you agree with them or that you think it is the right decision, but listening to them, and havi...

Growing up in an addicted home is confusing, frustrating, and scary for obvious reasons, but it's essential to keep in mind that everybody's experience is slightly different. Even kids who grow up in the same addicted home have a different experience. 

It's all fun and games until...

Some kids growing up in an addicted home may see the addicted parent as the fun parent. Maybe the parent is happy or silly while intoxicated, and the parent might even let the kid get by with a lot more. When this happens, it can put the other parent in a bad guy position.

Gaslighting

Many kids growing up in addicted homes experience a lot of gaslighting where one or both parents try to cover for the addictive behavior by convincing the kid that what they think is happening isn't happening, or that it's not that bad, or that it's normal. Kids growing up in addicted homes often feel guilty. A big reason for this is the adults in the home walk on eggshells to try to keep the peace with the addicted per...