Watch part 1 of Enzo's story here.

 “We’re Out of Our Parenting Skillset”

When Brenda picked up her 16-year-old son Enzo from a homeless youth shelter after a drug-fueled road trip, she saw a glimpse of where addiction was taking him—the smell, the vacant eyes, the speed at which life was unraveling. Not long after, came the call every parent dreads: Enzo overdosed. Doctors told the family to gather—he might not live through the night.

This is a true, unfiltered look at a family’s battle with addiction (fentanyl, Xanax, and more), ADHD’s early role, failed starts with treatment, and the life-and-death turning point that led to a different path. It’s painful, honest—and ultimately hopeful.

Early Signs No One Teaches You to See

• Gifted + ADHD (Twice-Exceptional): From third grade on, Enzo was bright, articulate, and also struggling. Meds muted him; no meds made school a war zone.

• Family turbulence: Divorce felt “amicable” to adults, but for Enzo’s black-and-white thinki...

The day everything changed

“I was almost 20 when fentanyl hit the streets. I didn’t know what it was—only that it got you super high. I started taking it…and I overdosed.”

What followed was a blur: two overdoses in one week, the second so severe that Enzo was found foaming at the mouth. He spent three days in a medically induced coma and a month relearning how to walk, use his hands, and even read an analog clock. The physical pain was immense; the emotional reckoning even bigger.

Key themes: teen addiction, fentanyl overdose, recovery story, wilderness therapy, therapeutic boarding school, family perspective, youth mentorship

Seattle roots, early independence, and the lure of belonging

Enzo grew up outside Seattle with present, hard-working parents—“a normal, middle-upper-class” life. A natural hustler with an entrepreneurial streak (selling chargers, candy, haircuts), he also craved loyalty and freedom. When a childhood friend group drifted, he found a new tribe—older, faster,...

A campfire lesson that changed everything

“It’s a lot easier to stay warm than to get warm.”
That simple line—shared by a wilderness guide on a freezing Montana night—didn’t click for B. Reeves until years later. In recovery, it became the anchor: staying sober each day is a lot easier than starting over from a cold, miserable place.

This is B’s story of slow-burn addiction, family dynamics, near misses, and the quiet nudge that finally broke through.

Early patterns: divorce, attention, and the art of getting by

After his parents’ divorce, B learned to manipulate for affection, things, and freedom—a pattern that followed him into adulthood. His mom (the kind, steady English teacher turned entrepreneur) and his dad (the brilliant, larger-than-life writer) loved him, but their different styles sometimes softened consequences. That’s called enabling, and it often delays the moment change becomes possible.

Sports were connection points—golf with dad, tennis with mom—but as substa...

The Truth About Helping an Addicted Loved One: 3 Strategies That Actually Work

If you're trying to help someone struggling with addiction, you've probably been given the same old advice over and over again:

• Use tough love and let them hit rock bottom.

• Stage a dramatic intervention.

• Or do nothing and hope they eventually want to change.

But what if there was a better, smarter fourth option?
An approach that doesn't wreck your relationship or your sanity but still moves your loved one toward recovery.

Option #1: The Tough Love Approach

You've probably heard this one before:
"Kick them out. Cut them off. Let them hit bottom."

It's been the go-to strategy for decades. And while it can seem empowering at first, here's the truth:

Tough love has a high emotional cost—and a low success rate.

Let's be real: addiction continues despite consequences. That's the definition of addiction. At the same time, natural consequences can play a role in helping someone see th...

How to Understand and Handle Denial: A Game-Changer for Dealing With Addiction

If you’ve ever felt frustrated trying to help a loved one who just can’t see how bad things have gotten — or if you’ve caught yourself minimizing your own unhealthy behaviors — you’re not alone. There’s a powerful psychological concept that explains this all too well, and once you grasp it, it will forever change how you handle denial in yourself and in others.

Welcome to Put the Shovel Down

Hi, I’m Amber Hollingsworth, creator of Put the Shovel Down — the YouTube channel designed to help you master the science and psychology of addiction so you can stay five steps ahead. With over 20 years of experience helping individuals and families overcome addiction, I’m here to remind you: You are NOT powerless.

Today, we’re digging deep into a truth about denial that most people overlook — and how you can actually work with it, not against it.

The Fancy Word You Already Know: Cognitive Dissonance

Let’s get st...

How to Stay Strong in Recovery: Protecting Your Fire When Life Gets Hard

Welcome back! You’ve made it to part three of our series on how to walk away from addiction—and never look back. If you haven’t seen parts one or two yet, no worries. You can jump in here and go back later, or start from the beginning if you want the full experience. Either way, you're in the right place.

Recovery Is Just the Beginning

If you’ve been following along, you’re starting to see a big truth: walking away from an addiction is only the first step. What really keeps you going is building a meaningful life—one that’s worth staying sober for. But let’s be honest—life doesn’t always make it easy to keep that momentum.

This blog is your guide to staying strong in recovery, even when life throws you curveballs. We'll show you how to keep that fire of recovery burning bright—no matter what challenges come your way.

🔥 Think of Your Recovery Like a Fire

Imagine your recovery journey like building and maint...

How to Respond When Your Addicted Loved One Refuses Help: A Step-by-Step Guide

Are you exhausted from hearing excuses after excuses from your addicted loved one?
If you’re stuck in the frustrating cycle of “I’m not that bad,” or “I can quit on my own,” you’re not alone—and you’re exactly where you need to be.

This guide is going to give you the tools to not just cope with the resistance, but to navigate through it with confidence and strategy.

Let’s talk about how to stop spinning your wheels and start making progress—even when your loved one says they’re “not ready.”

🎯 Top 10 Excuses Addicted People Use to Avoid Getting Help

First, let’s call out the most common objections you’ve probably heard:

1. "I’m not that bad."

2. "I can stop whenever I want."

3. "I don’t have time."

4. "I don’t want to leave my kids/family."

5. "People will judge me."

6. "I've tried before and it didn’t work."

7. "I don’t want to talk to strangers."

8. "I’m not ready yet."

9. "I don’t tr...

The Moderation Trap: Why Cutting Back Feels So Exhausting

If you’ve been riding the rollercoaster of “doing good” then falling off the wagon, it’s not because you lack willpower. In fact, if you’re able to moderate sometimes, it’s proof that you’re trying really hard. But biology often overrides intention.

Moderation can work… until it doesn’t. You white-knuckle your way through happy hour. You set rules. You buy the mini bottles. You bargain with yourself. But then the cravings hit—and when they do, you’re back to square one. And let’s be honest: those mornings after? The shame spiral, the promises, the exhaustion—it’s brutal.

So why is this happening?

The Science of Why Moderation Fails

There are three core reasons moderation is nearly impossible for most people dealing with substance issues:

1. The Rebound Effect

Whatever your substance of choice does for you—calm you down, perk you up, make you feel less anxious—your brain eventually learns to counteract that effect. If al...

The Real Reason You Can’t Get Through to Your Addicted Loved One — And What Actually Works

If you’re watching your loved one spiral deeper into addiction while still showing up to work, paying some bills, or pretending “everything’s fine,” you’re in the hardest place to be: the messy middle. That gray area where they’re just functional enough to stay in denial, but deep in the cycle of substance use.

You’ve likely begged. You’ve threatened. You’ve cried. You’ve prayed. You’ve tried everything... and it still feels like you're losing them.

The truth? It’s not that your loved one can’t recover — it’s that the way you’re trying to help isn’t working. But there’s good news: there’s a better way, and it starts with getting out of the “bad guy” role.

Why Your Efforts Haven’t Worked (Yet)

Let’s break down the hard truth: most families unintentionally push their loved one further away by trying to force awareness, rush the recovery process, or confront them with shame. Here's what that ...

The Truth About Alcohol and Anxiety: Breaking the Cycle

For many of us, a drink at the end of a hard day feels like the easiest way to unwind. Whether it’s a couple of cocktails after work, a glass of wine to pair with dinner, or a weekend toast with friends, alcohol often becomes the go-to solution for stress and anxiety relief. But here’s the thing—while it might feel like alcohol calms your nerves in the moment, it’s actually setting you up for more anxiety in the long run.

I know that’s not a popular message but stick with me. I’m going to explain the science behind why alcohol isn’t the anxiety cure it seems to be and how it can actually make things worse. Trust me, you’ll want to understand this if you’re serious about breaking free from the anxiety-alcohol cycle.

Why Alcohol Feels Like It Helps (At First)

When you take that first sip of alcohol, your brain gets a temporary “chill pill.” Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, which means it slows things down in you...