Is Relapse Closer Than You Think? Watch Out For These Hidden Signs
How to Spot the Signs of a Relapse: A Guide for Loved Ones
Are you feeling like something just isn't right with your loved one? Maybe you’ve got that sneaky suspicion that they’ve relapsed, but they haven’t come forward yet. You’re stuck questioning yourself, wondering if you should confront them or if it’s all in your head. Before you dive in, it’s essential to figure out if they really have relapsed. In this post, we’ll break down both the obvious and not-so-obvious signs of relapse so you can put your self-doubt to rest.
The Obvious Signs of Relapse
When we think about the signs of a relapse, we usually jump to the most concrete and straightforward ones. These are harder to miss but can still leave room for doubt when your loved one starts getting defensive.
Here are some of the telltale signs:
- Missing money or time: If they were supposed to be somewhere but weren’t, or it took them way longer than expected, this could be a warning sign.
- Unreachable: Suddenly not answering calls or disappearing for long periods.
- Hanging out with the wrong crowd: If they're spending time with people who encourage negative behaviors, this is another big red flag.
- Finding paraphernalia or substances: This is the most glaring sign. Even if you catch them red-handed, they may deny it or offer convincing excuses like “That’s my friend’s” or “It’s old.”
While these may seem like undeniable signs, those struggling with addiction can be extremely convincing, even when the evidence is right in front of you. You might still find yourself doubting what you’ve found.
The Gray Area: Subtle Signs of Relapse
So, what if you're not seeing the obvious red flags? Sometimes, the signs of a relapse are much subtler, and these are often the ones that can nag at your gut feelings. Pay special attention to these:
1. Your gut feeling: You’ve got a sense that something is off. Maybe you can’t put your finger on it, but that feeling has been lingering. This isn’t just a passing thought—it’s that whisper in the back of your mind that you’ve been trying to ignore.
2. Emotional distance: Is your loved one pulling away from you for no apparent reason? Even if they’re physically present, do you feel a wall going up emotionally? This kind of distancing could be a sign that they’re hiding something or struggling internally.
3. Attitude shifts: One of the biggest indicators of a relapse is a sudden change in mood or behavior. Maybe they were committed to recovery—attending meetings, talking to their sponsor, or being open with you about their progress. But suddenly, they seem irritated, anxious, or dismissive of the very things that were helping them stay on track. If they’re becoming defensive about their recovery or acting like it’s no longer a priority, that’s a huge warning sign.
4. Bargaining language: Another major clue is hearing them start to bargain. Statements like, “Maybe I can just use occasionally,” or “A little bit won’t hurt” are clear signs that they’re either considering using again or have already started. When someone who’s been all about total sobriety begins to backtrack, it’s time to pay close attention.
The Importance of Patterns
Any one of these signs on its own could be explained away. Maybe they really did lose track of time, or perhaps they’ve had a rough day. But when you start to notice patterns—multiple signs showing up together—this is when you need to take things seriously. Relapse is rarely an isolated event. It often happens after a buildup of stress, triggers, or unresolved issues.
What’s Next?
Now that you’ve got a better sense of what to look for, you might feel the urge to immediately confront your loved one. But hold on—before you jump into action, it’s essential to take the right steps. Figuring out if they’ve relapsed is only the beginning. Knowing how to respond is just as important.
Amber Hollingsworth
For more, check out my video next titled,
This Illusion Is Why It's Hard To Break Addictions' Hold
Remember, relapse can be part of the recovery journey, but how you respond can make all the difference.
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