Look Out For These Behaviors In Your Addict Significant Other
Recognizing the Behaviors of Addicts and Alcoholics: A Guide for Loved Ones
Being in a relationship with someone who struggles with addiction can be incredibly confusing and emotionally exhausting. Addicts often engage in behaviors like gaslighting, rationalizing, and minimizing their issues, which can leave you doubting the severity of the problem. In this blog post, we'll discuss some common observable behaviors of addicts and alcoholics to help you recognize the signs and take appropriate action.
Common Behaviors of Addicts and Alcoholics
1. Secretive Drinking or Using
- Addicts often hide their substance use or the extent of their consumption. They may drink or use before, during, or after social events in secret.
2. Going Missing in Action (MIA)
- Long, unaccounted-for absences are typical. They might leave for a short errand and disappear for hours or even days, often with implausible explanations.
3. Neglecting Responsibilities
- Addicts tend to neglect duties at work, home, or school. This neglect can be progressive, with more responsibilities falling through the cracks over time.
4. Sudden Changes in Behavior
- Their behavior can shift dramatically within short periods. One minute they seem fine, and the next, they are incoherent or stumbling, often due to hidden substance use.
5. Making Broken Promises
- They frequently promise to reduce or quit their addictive behavior but fail to stick to these commitments.
6. Engaging in Irresponsible or Impulsive Behaviors
- Addicts might engage in dangerous or illegal activities, like driving under the influence or gambling irresponsibly.
7. Denial and Defensiveness
- When confronted, addicts typically deny the problem, rationalize their behavior, or become defensive and redirect the conversation.
8. Holding Grudges and Resentments
- Addicts often hold onto past hurts and grievances, frequently rehashing old issues and displaying preoccupation with these resentments.
9. Sleep Problems
- Irregular sleep patterns, either sleeping too much or too little, are common and vary depending on the addiction.
10. Social Isolation
- Addicts may withdraw from social activities and hobbies, preferring to be alone where they can use substances without restraint.
11. Anger and Irritability
- They can become very agitated and angry if something interferes with their ability to engage in their addictive behavior.
12. Planning Life Around Addiction
- Their daily schedule revolves around the addiction, making it the central focus of their life.
How to Approach the Situation
Recognizing these behaviors is the first step. When you're ready to confront your loved one:
- Express Concern, Not Judgment: Use "I" statements to communicate how their behavior affects you.
- Be Specific: Mention specific instances where their behavior has caused concern.
- Offer Support: Let them know you're there to support them through recovery.
- Avoid Blame: Focus on the behavior, not the person.
If the situation becomes overwhelming, don't hesitate to seek help from addiction specialists, counselors, or support groups. Professional guidance can be invaluable in navigating this challenging journey.
Understanding and recognizing these common behaviors can help you stay five steps ahead of addiction. Remember, confronting a loved one about their addiction is difficult but necessary for their recovery. For more insights, check out my full video on [How to Confront Someone About Their Addiction](https://youtu.be/JPDLVxi4Qx0).
Amber Hollingsworth
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