Functional Alcoholic Denial: Why They Say They’re “Fine” (and What Actually Breaks Through)

If you’re dealing with a functional alcoholic—a spouse, partner, adult child, or parent who “still goes to work” and “handles business”—you’ve probably had this same maddening thought:

How can they look you in the eye and act like nothing’s wrong?

Functional alcoholism comes with a very specific kind of denial, and it’s tougher to break through than most people realize. Not because you’re doing it wrong… but because two major roadblocks are working against you from the start.

In this post, we’re going to unpack:

• Why denial is so strong with functional alcoholics

• Why your reality and their reality don’t match (and never will without help)

• Whether recording them “to show them” is a good idea

• The most important key to creating real change—without it turning into a war

What is a functional alcoholic?

A functional alcoholic is someone whose drinking is causing harm—emo...

How to Get Someone to Face the Truth About Their Addiction — Without Pushing Them Away

Trying to help someone you love see the truth about their addiction can feel like trying to get the perfect oven temperature for a Thanksgiving turkey — too cold and nothing happens, too hot and you burn the house down.

If you’ve ever tried to confront a loved one about their drinking, drug use, or destructive habits, you know exactly what I mean.

I’m Amber Hollingsworth, and here on Put The Shovel Down, we don’t just share success stories — we break down the how and why behind addiction and recovery so you can stay five steps ahead.

Let’s talk about how to get through to someone in denial without accidentally driving them deeper into it.

Why Most Attempts to “Wake Someone Up” Backfire

Here’s the thing: your instincts might be telling you to “just lay it all out.”
To tell them how they’re ruining your life, their life, the kids’ lives — and hope that reality will snap them out of it.

But gue...