Rebuilding Trust in Relationships: A Roadmap to Healing

Trust forms the bedrock of any strong relationship. When trust is broken, it can leave both parties shattered, with walls of defense erected. Rebuilding that trust requires understanding and effort from both sides. In this post, we'll explore practical steps to navigate this challenging journey.

Understanding Defense Mechanisms

If trust has been breached in your relationship, it's natural for defense mechanisms to kick in. Whether you're the one who betrayed trust or the one hurt by it, these defenses can complicate healing. Recognizing and addressing these defenses is crucial for progress.

Addressing the Trust Breaker

For the person who has broken trust, patience is paramount. Healing takes time, often longer than expected. Avoiding the topic or becoming defensive only prolongs the process. Instead, acknowledge the wrongdoing regularly and openly. This demonstrates your commitment to change and gradually rebuilds trust.

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Healing from Betrayal Trauma: A Comprehensive Guide

Betrayal trauma is one of the most challenging experiences to navigate, especially when you’ve chosen to stay in the relationship. This complex issue requires a deep dive into the myriad steps necessary to get back on track after a major deception or betrayal has occurred.

Understanding Betrayal Trauma

Typically, when we think of betrayal trauma, an affair often comes to mind. However, betrayal can also stem from having a spouse or partner with an addiction. If you find yourself in either of these situations and have decided to work through it, you’re facing significant challenges—not just self-doubt but also doubts from those around you and possibly even your partner.

The Road to Healing

Healing from betrayal trauma is a murky and long journey, but it is possible. The first step is understanding what you’re dealing with. This blog explores the perspectives of both the betrayed and the betrayer, recognizing...

Dealing with Lies in Addiction: Understanding and Managing the Common Lies of Addiction
Hello, and welcome to *Put the Shovel Down*. In today's post, we're diving deep into a topic that is crucial for anyone dealing with addiction: lies. Specifically, we'll explore the seven most common types of lies that people with addictions tell. While there are other posts and videos on this channel about lying and manipulation, today, we're going a little deeper.

For those of you who are new here, I'm Amber Hollingsworth, a Master Addiction Counselor with over 20 years of experience helping people overcome addiction. I've seen firsthand how pervasive lying can be in the context of addiction. There's no foolproof way to get someone to tell the truth, and attempting to force honesty often backfires. Instead, I'll provide you with insights and tools to navigate these challenging situations effectively.

Understanding the Reasons Behind Lies in Addiction
Before we delve into the types of lies, it's...

Mastering the Art of Timing: Intervening with an Addicted Loved One

In the intricate dance of helping a loved one with addiction, timing is not just crucial—it's everything. Knowing when and how to approach the subject of addiction can mean the difference between resistance and receptivity, between frustration and progress. In this insightful guide, we'll delve into the delicate balance of timing interventions with addicted loved ones, helping you navigate this challenging terrain with confidence and effectiveness.

Understanding the Ebb and Flow

Addiction is a rollercoaster of highs and lows, marked by moments of seeming control and periods of chaos. It's during these natural fluctuations that individuals may engage in what Amber Hollingsworth terms "bargaining"—a desperate attempt to exert some semblance of control over their addictive behaviors. This phase often involves setting limits or rules around substance use, such as restricting consumption to certain days or...

Title: Understanding Your Alcoholic Spouse: Insights and Strategies for Support

Are you grappling with the complexities of living with an alcoholic spouse? Perhaps you've found yourself nodding along as you hear echoes of your own experiences in the words of others. The journey of being married to someone struggling with alcohol addiction can be fraught with challenges, confusion, and sometimes isolation. But you're not alone.

In a recent YouTube video, a seasoned addiction therapist shared insights gleaned from two decades of working with individuals battling addiction, particularly husbands struggling with alcoholism. Let's delve into some key takeaways and strategies for navigating this difficult terrain.

1. **Recognizing Patterns**: One striking revelation from the therapist's experience is the predictability of the narratives shared by husbands grappling with alcohol addiction. They often express feelings of being misunderstood, criticized, and neglected by their spouses. This...

Understanding and Overcoming Marriage with a Functional Alcoholic: A Strategic Guide
Living with a functional alcoholic spouse can feel like constantly playing second fiddle to their addiction. In this blog, Amber Hollingsworth, a seasoned addiction counselor with over two decades of experience, sheds light on why some individuals prioritize alcohol over their relationships and offers strategic advice on how to navigate this challenging situation.

- Functional Alcoholism Defined: Hollingsworth simplifies the concept of functional alcoholism as the ability to stop drinking but the persistent choice not to. This distinction is crucial in understanding the dynamics within such relationships.

- Alcohol as a Protective Shield: Functional alcoholics often perceive alcohol as a friend, a stress reliever, and a source of pleasure. It serves as a shield against life's challenges, offering temporary relief from their troubles.

- Perception of the Spouse: Over time, spouses of functional...

Navigating Addiction: A Comprehensive Guide to Intervention Strategies

Are you faced with the challenging task of helping a loved one overcome addiction? The journey towards recovery can be daunting, but with the right intervention strategy, you can pave the way for lasting change. In this ultimate guide, we'll explore various intervention options, weigh their pros and cons, discuss when to implement them, and delve into their effectiveness and costs.

Meet Amber Hollingsworth, a seasoned master addiction counselor with over two decades of experience. Her expertise lies not only in individual therapy but also in understanding the intricate dynamics of family systems impacted by addiction. As she shares her insights, you'll gain valuable knowledge to support your loved one on their path to recovery.

The Johnson Model Intervention

Picture the iconic intervention scenes from TV shows like A&E's "Intervention." This approach, known as the Johnson Model, involves a structured process...

Understanding Short-Term Sobriety: What It Means and How to Navigate It

Are you witnessing your loved one embark on short bursts of sobriety, only to falter when it comes to committing long-term? This is a perplexing situation, leaving you questioning the reasons behind these cycles and how best to support them. In today's discussion, we'll delve into the various dynamics at play, helping you decipher these behaviors and offering insights on how to approach them effectively.

1. Setbacks in Long-Term Sobriety: Sometimes, individuals genuinely aspire for lasting sobriety but encounter setbacks along the way. Identifying triggers or unresolved issues is crucial in breaking this cycle and fostering sustained recovery.

2. Testing Self-Control: Others may engage in short-term sobriety as a self-validation exercise, attempting to prove they aren't bound by addiction. However, true addiction lies in the inability to control usage, not intermittent breaks consistently.

3. Exploring Sobriety...

With Amber Hollingsworth, this is The Untoxicated Podcast, where we talk about the relationship between sex and intimacy with addiction. Hear how addiction negatively affects even the strongest of relationships and how beating it helps love and connection grow stronger here today with Sheri and Matt Salis, a couple whose marriage survived active alcoholism, ultimately proving that your relationship can overcome addiction with the right approach.

Alcoholism and Intimacy Survey: Partner’s Perceptions of Problematic Alcohol Use and Intimacy http://alcoholicintimacysurvey.org/

The Untoxicated Podcast of Sheri and Matt Salis: https://un-toxicated.com/

Watch this next: 

Is Your Spouse an Alcoholic or a Heavy Drinker?

Additional Resources:

Make An Appointment With One Of Our Specialists: https://www.familyrecoveryacademy.online/consultations

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