Setting Boundaries with a Loved One Struggling with Addiction: Avoid These 3 Common Mistakes

Loving someone with an addiction is incredibly difficult and heartbreaking. Of course, you want to help them, but you also have to protect yourself. And as you probably already know, that can be very, very challenging. Keep reading to discover crucial tips on avoiding the top three most common boundary mistakes—and what to do instead.

These top three boundary mistakes might not be what you’re expecting, so stay with me—there’s logic behind them.

Boundary Mistake #1: Setting Too Many Boundaries

When you love someone with an addiction, their substance use impacts not just them but you, too. It’s completely natural to want to control their behavior in an attempt to shield yourself from the chaos. This often leads to setting too many boundaries—rules about what they can and cannot do, expecting them to comply.

But here’s the catch: boundaries are about what you will and won’t accept, not a...

Loving an Addict: How It Impacts You and How to Take Back Control

Loving an addict or alcoholic can make you feel like you're losing your mind. While "crazy" may not be a clinical term, it's the only word that captures the emotional chaos so many of us experience in these situations. You lose yourself, your sense of stability, and sometimes, even your identity. If this resonates with you, know you're not alone—and you're in the right place.

I’m Amber Hollingsworth, a master addiction counselor with over 20 years of experience. On my YouTube channel, I aim to help families navigate the impact of addiction. We will unpack the emotional toll of loving someone with addiction, the mental rollercoaster you’re on, and—most importantly—how to start reclaiming your sanity.

The Emotional Rollercoaster

When you're closely connected to someone struggling with addiction, your emotional brain (your limbic system) syncs up with theirs. It's almost magnetic. Ever notice how being around anxiou...

Gray Area Thinking: Understanding Addiction on the Spectrum

Addiction isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation. It exists on a spectrum, with a gray area between casual use and full-blown addiction. This "gray area thinking" is where many people find themselves—not sure if their substance use is problematic, yet not identifying as an addict or alcoholic. If that resonates with you, you’re in the right place.

In today’s blog, we’ll explore gray area thinking, how it differs from gray area drinking, and what you can do if you’re navigating this confusing middle ground.

Signs of Gray Area Thinking

Gray area thinking often involves conflicting feelings about your substance use. You may:

1. Vacillate between concern and dismissal – You promise yourself to cut back but later convince yourself it's not a big deal.
2. Avoid discussing your substance use – Fear of judgment or pressure to change makes you reluctant to open up.
3. Experience negative impacts – Your substance use may not dominate you...

Could Ozempic Be the Key to Tackling Addiction?

You’ve probably heard all the buzz about Ozempic, hailed by many as a breakthrough weight-loss drug. But did you know its active ingredient, semaglutide, might also hold promise in a completely different area—addiction? That’s right, folks are buzzing about its potential to curb addictive behaviors, and while there’s no published research on it just yet, the anecdotal evidence is piling up. Let’s dive in.

From Weight Loss to Addiction Control?

Semaglutide works by mimicking a hormone that helps you feel full faster, which is why it’s so effective for weight loss. But here’s where things get interesting: countless users on platforms like Reddit are claiming that the drug has unexpectedly helped them reduce or eliminate other behaviors, from drinking and smoking to compulsive shopping and even skin-picking.

While these are just personal stories (not hard science), the consistency of these experiences is enough to make you wonder—cou...

Running on Empty: How to Refill Your Cup When Supporting a Loved One with Addiction

Supporting someone struggling with addiction is one of the toughest roads to walk. You love them, you care for them, and you want to help them through this dark journey. But let’s be real: you’re exhausted, anxious, and maybe even resentful. You're running on fumes, and then you stumble upon advice to “stay positive” or “listen more patiently.” And you think to yourself, "How am I supposed to do that when I’ve got nothing left to give?"

The Empty Cup Dilemma

You’ve probably heard the saying: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” And right now, your cup is bone dry. In this guide, we’re going to talk about how to refill your emotional reserves so you can continue being the supportive, loving person you want to be. Your needs matter, too.

I’m Amber Hollingsworth, a Master Addiction Counselor, and on my YouTube channel, Put The Shovel Down, I focus on both perspectives: the person dealing with addic...

Unlock Self-Awareness and Transform Your Life with These 3 Questions

Too often, we move through our days on autopilot, never stopping to reflect on the motivations behind our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. But what if you took a few moments each day to pause, reflect, and ask yourself three transformational questions? These questions can unlock self-awareness, help you grow personally, and strengthen your relationships.

Whether you're on a personal recovery journey or navigating family recovery, self-awareness and self-honesty are essential for lasting change. These daily reflections will challenge you to get honest with yourself and build the habit of integrity over time.

Here are the three powerful questions to ask yourself every night.

1. Was I Resentful Today?

Resentment can quietly build, turning into self-pity and leading to poor decisions. It’s like a low-level anger that simmers under the surface. Identifying resentment is critical for personal growth and recovery ...

5 Signs You Might Be Enabling Your Loved One’s Addiction

Enabling goes beyond simply paying someone’s bills or letting them stay under your roof. It’s a deeper, more complex dynamic that can keep your loved one stuck in unhealthy patterns. In this post, we’ll walk through five major signs that you might be enabling someone struggling with addiction. Think about each sign as you read—does it resonate with your experience?

If you're here, you're likely concerned that you might be enabling someone you care about. 

So, let’s explore the five signs that you might be enabling:

1. Shielding Them from Natural Consequences
If your loved one isn’t facing the natural outcomes of their actions, they might not see a reason to change. Natural consequences happen when someone’s actions lead to logical results, like missing work and getting fired. On the other hand, punishment is something you impose in response to bad behavior. By stepping in and fixing their problems, they might feel like every...

How to Handle a Loved One's Relapse: Steps for Recovery and Support

Discovering that a loved one has relapsed after a period of progress can feel like a punch to the gut. It's overwhelming, heartbreaking, and often leaves you unsure of how to respond. While it's normal to feel a wave of emotions, how you handle the situation can make a big difference in what happens next. Although you can’t control their actions, your response can influence the outcome. Let’s walk through some essential steps to take that can help guide your loved one—and yourself—toward a healthier path.

1. Get Clear Before Taking Action
Before you take any steps, make sure you're confident that a relapse has occurred. If you’re only suspicious but not certain, it’s better to hold off on confronting them. I recommend watching my video on [How to Tell If Your Loved One Has Relapsed](#), which covers some clear indicators that might help you get clarity. Once you're about 80-90% sure, it’s time to move forward.

2. A...

The Subtle Danger of Alcoholic Denial: Why It’s Different and How to Recognize It

Denial is a common trait among those struggling with addiction, but alcoholic denial is a unique beast altogether. It's trickier to identify and even more challenging to confront. If you're wondering why someone with a drinking problem doesn't see it—or if you suspect you might be in denial yourself—understanding these nuances can be the first step toward change.

In this post, we’ll explore 6 reasons why alcoholic denial differs from denial in other types of addiction and how it often goes unnoticed.

1. High Functionality Masks the Problem
One of the biggest reasons alcoholics often don’t realize they have a significant problem is because they’re highly functional in many areas of life. Unlike other addictions where the effects are more immediate and visible, alcohol can allow a person to maintain a seemingly normal life for years. They might hold down a demanding job, manage their household, or even ...

Are You Addicted? Discover the Criteria Used by Professionals to Find Out

Marijuana addiction is a sneaky, often overlooked issue that can be hard to identify. In fact, of all the addictions I treat, it's probably the hardest for people to recognize. In this post, we'll delve into the clinical criteria for marijuana addiction, officially known as Marijuana Use Disorder, and explore how these criteria can stay hidden under the radar.

Understanding Marijuana Use Disorder

Before we jump into the criteria, it's essential to understand that the clinical criteria for Marijuana Use Disorder are the same as those used for other substance addictions, like alcohol or methamphetamine. The only difference is the substance involved. By understanding these criteria, you can learn to recognize potential signs of addiction in yourself or someone you care about.

The 11 Criteria for Marijuana Use Disorder

Let's break down the 11 criteria used by professionals to diagnose Marijuana Use Disorder. A...