Unlocking Influence: Overcoming Self-Sabotaging Thoughts in Addiction Support

As many of you know, I always encourage being smart and strategic when interacting with your addicted loved one. Making wise choices in your interactions can significantly influence the situation, even if you can't control it.

By now, if you've been watching this channel for a while, you probably agree with that approach. You watch the AMRE videos, you practice the techniques, but sometimes, despite your best efforts, things go sideways. It's human nature—emotions take over, and you might have a meltdown or say things you regret. It's okay; it happens to all of us.

Often, what leads to these moments are self-sabotaging thoughts. These internal narratives and conversations can stir us up, causing us to lose our way. Even those of you in our Invisible Intervention course, where you learn communication skills and track your progress, can hit these mental roadblocks.

Recognizing and dismissing these thought...

 Recognizing the Behaviors of Addicts and Alcoholics: A Guide for Loved Ones

Being in a relationship with someone who struggles with addiction can be incredibly confusing and emotionally exhausting. Addicts often engage in behaviors like gaslighting, rationalizing, and minimizing their issues, which can leave you doubting the severity of the problem. In this blog post, we'll discuss some common observable behaviors of addicts and alcoholics to help you recognize the signs and take appropriate action.

Common Behaviors of Addicts and Alcoholics

1. Secretive Drinking or Using
- Addicts often hide their substance use or the extent of their consumption. They may drink or use before, during, or after social events in secret.

2. Going Missing in Action (MIA)
- Long, unaccounted-for absences are typical. They might leave for a short errand and disappear for hours or even days, often with implausible explanations.

3. Neglecting Responsibilities
- Addicts tend to neglect duties at work, h...

Dealing with Lies in Addiction: Understanding and Managing the Common Lies of Addiction
Hello, and welcome to *Put the Shovel Down*. In today's post, we're diving deep into a topic that is crucial for anyone dealing with addiction: lies. Specifically, we'll explore the seven most common types of lies that people with addictions tell. While there are other posts and videos on this channel about lying and manipulation, today, we're going a little deeper.

For those of you who are new here, I'm Amber Hollingsworth, a Master Addiction Counselor with over 20 years of experience helping people overcome addiction. I've seen firsthand how pervasive lying can be in the context of addiction. There's no foolproof way to get someone to tell the truth, and attempting to force honesty often backfires. Instead, I'll provide you with insights and tools to navigate these challenging situations effectively.

Understanding the Reasons Behind Lies in Addiction
Before we delve into the types of lies, it's ...

How to Make Someone Want to Get Sober: A Step-by-Step Guide

Some of you may be skeptical just reading the title: "How to Make Someone Want to Get Sober." Before diving into this post, you're likely thinking, "You can't make someone get sober. They have to want it for themselves." You're right, to a large degree. But there's more to the story. While you can't make someone get sober, you can influence them to want to pursue sobriety. Here's how.

The Influence Factor

First, let's address the elephant in the room: you can't force sobriety on anyone. The person struggling with addiction has to put in the work themselves. However, as someone close to them, you play a crucial role in influencing their journey towards sobriety.

Imagine trying to make someone want to spend more time with you. There are subtle ways you can influence their feelings and decisions. Similarly, there are strategies to encourage someone to consider sobriety.

Understanding Emotional Triggers

We all have emotion...

Healing Relationships Affected by Addiction: A Dual Perspective

When you’re in a relationship with someone struggling with addiction, it’s easy to believe that if the addiction gets under control, everything will be okay. However, addiction impacts relationships in profound and unexpected ways, and repairing that damage is a complex process.

The Dual Impact of Addiction

Addiction doesn't just hurt the person using substances; it affects everyone close to them. To understand the full scope of its impact, we need to look at it from both perspectives: the person with the addiction and their loved ones.

The Loved One’s Perspective

For the loved one, the journey through a partner's addiction is often marked by a rollercoaster of emotions. There’s the initial hope that the situation will improve, followed by disappointment when it doesn’t, creating a cycle of trust and betrayal. Over time, this repeated cycle can lead to deep-seated resentment and a profound distrust, not only towards t...

Mastering the Art of Timing: Intervening with an Addicted Loved One

In the intricate dance of helping a loved one with addiction, timing is not just crucial—it's everything. Knowing when and how to approach the subject of addiction can mean the difference between resistance and receptivity, between frustration and progress. In this insightful guide, we'll delve into the delicate balance of timing interventions with addicted loved ones, helping you navigate this challenging terrain with confidence and effectiveness.

Understanding the Ebb and Flow

Addiction is a rollercoaster of highs and lows, marked by moments of seeming control and periods of chaos. It's during these natural fluctuations that individuals may engage in what Amber Hollingsworth terms "bargaining"—a desperate attempt to exert some semblance of control over their addictive behaviors. This phase often involves setting limits or rules around substance use, such as restricting consumption to certain days or occasions. H...

Title: Understanding Your Alcoholic Spouse: Insights and Strategies for Support

Are you grappling with the complexities of living with an alcoholic spouse? Perhaps you've found yourself nodding along as you hear echoes of your own experiences in the words of others. The journey of being married to someone struggling with alcohol addiction can be fraught with challenges, confusion, and sometimes isolation. But you're not alone.

In a recent YouTube video, a seasoned addiction therapist shared insights gleaned from two decades of working with individuals battling addiction, particularly husbands struggling with alcoholism. Let's delve into some key takeaways and strategies for navigating this difficult terrain.

1. **Recognizing Patterns**: One striking revelation from the therapist's experience is the predictability of the narratives shared by husbands grappling with alcohol addiction. They often express feelings of being misunderstood, criticized, and neglected by their spouses. Thi...

Understanding and Overcoming Marriage with a Functional Alcoholic: A Strategic Guide
Living with a functional alcoholic spouse can feel like constantly playing second fiddle to their addiction. In this blog, Amber Hollingsworth, a seasoned addiction counselor with over two decades of experience, sheds light on why some individuals prioritize alcohol over their relationships and offers strategic advice on how to navigate this challenging situation.

- Functional Alcoholism Defined: Hollingsworth simplifies the concept of functional alcoholism as the ability to stop drinking but the persistent choice not to. This distinction is crucial in understanding the dynamics within such relationships.

- Alcohol as a Protective Shield: Functional alcoholics often perceive alcohol as a friend, a stress reliever, and a source of pleasure. It serves as a shield against life's challenges, offering temporary relief from their troubles.

- Perception of the Spouse: Over time, spouses of functional alco...

Navigating Addiction: A Comprehensive Guide to Intervention Strategies

Are you faced with the challenging task of helping a loved one overcome addiction? The journey towards recovery can be daunting, but with the right intervention strategy, you can pave the way for lasting change. In this ultimate guide, we'll explore various intervention options, weigh their pros and cons, discuss when to implement them, and delve into their effectiveness and costs.

Meet Amber Hollingsworth, a seasoned master addiction counselor with over two decades of experience. Her expertise lies not only in individual therapy but also in understanding the intricate dynamics of family systems impacted by addiction. As she shares her insights, you'll gain valuable knowledge to support your loved one on their path to recovery.

The Johnson Model Intervention

Picture the iconic intervention scenes from TV shows like A&E's "Intervention." This approach, known as the Johnson Model, involves a structured process w...