The Hidden Chaos of Being a “Functional” Alcoholic: When Life Looks Fine on the Outside but Feels Like It’s Falling Apart

For most adults, life already takes everything you’ve got—balancing work, family, responsibilities, and relationships. But when alcohol (or any addiction) becomes another full-time obsession, things quietly start to unravel.

You find yourself constantly planning:
How am I going to get it? How am I going to use it without anyone knowing? How can I keep it under control this time?

It becomes a mental chess game—full of bargains and broken promises. You tell yourself you’ll only drink a certain amount, that you won’t let it get that bad again, that you’ll do better tomorrow. But deep down, you know how this story goes.

The Mental Tug-of-War

Even when you’re not drinking or using, you’re thinking about it. Life starts to feel like something you just get through in between drinks or hits. You’re checking boxes, showing up, functioning—but not present.

Maybe you ...

What It’s Really Like to Be Married to a Functional Alcoholic

Today, we’re diving into something raw, real, and painfully relatable — what it’s like to be married to a functional alcoholic.

These stories come from real Reddit users, and they show how addiction quietly progresses inside relationships that look “normal” on the outside. Each one captures a different stage — from subtle warning signs to emotional exhaustion.

If you’ve ever felt like you’re walking on eggshells, questioning your own reality, or carrying the weight of someone else’s drinking problem, you’ll probably see yourself somewhere in these stories.

Story 1: “Is Alcohol Ruining My Marriage, or Is It Just Me?”

A wife describes her husband of nine years — a man who started with a few beers a day and weekend binges that slowly turned into regular drinking. After multiple “cutback” talks and a near-divorce moment, he reduced his drinking… for a while.

But as she describes, “It’s creeping back up again — nine beers...

 Watch part 1 of Enzo's story here.

 “We’re Out of Our Parenting Skillset”

When Brenda picked up her 16-year-old son Enzo from a homeless youth shelter after a drug-fueled road trip, she saw a glimpse of where addiction was taking him—the smell, the vacant eyes, the speed at which life was unraveling. Not long after, came the call every parent dreads: Enzo overdosed. Doctors told the family to gather—he might not live through the night.

This is a true, unfiltered look at a family’s battle with addiction (fentanyl, Xanax, and more), ADHD’s early role, failed starts with treatment, and the life-and-death turning point that led to a different path. It’s painful, honest—and ultimately hopeful.

Early Signs No One Teaches You to See

• Gifted + ADHD (Twice-Exceptional): From third grade on, Enzo was bright, articulate, and also struggling. Meds muted him; no meds made school a war zone.

• Family turbulence: Divorce felt “amicable” to adults, but for Enzo’s black-and-white thinki...

The day everything changed

“I was almost 20 when fentanyl hit the streets. I didn’t know what it was—only that it got you super high. I started taking it…and I overdosed.”

What followed was a blur: two overdoses in one week, the second so severe that Enzo was found foaming at the mouth. He spent three days in a medically induced coma and a month relearning how to walk, use his hands, and even read an analog clock. The physical pain was immense; the emotional reckoning even bigger.

Key themes: teen addiction, fentanyl overdose, recovery story, wilderness therapy, therapeutic boarding school, family perspective, youth mentorship

Seattle roots, early independence, and the lure of belonging

Enzo grew up outside Seattle with present, hard-working parents—“a normal, middle-upper-class” life. A natural hustler with an entrepreneurial streak (selling chargers, candy, haircuts), he also craved loyalty and freedom. When a childhood friend group drifted, he found a new tribe—older, faster,...

 Read Part 1 first: 

A Brother’s Story: Addiction, Family Bonds, and the Long Road to Recovery

Addiction doesn’t just affect the person using—it ripples through families, testing love, patience, and resilience. In this raw and heartfelt story, Dan Reeves opens up about growing up with his older brother, B, and the complicated mix of admiration, frustration, and hope that shaped their relationship.

B was—and still is—one of the smartest, funniest, and most charismatic people Dan has ever known. But beneath the charm was a long struggle with alcohol and opioids that nearly cost B everything.

Growing Up Together

Dan and B Reeves were inseparable as kids. They shared a wild streak, tested boundaries, and found themselves in situations that most teenagers eventually outgrow. But while Dan eventually slowed down, B’s “all-in” personality made him more vulnerable to the grip of addiction.

Their parents, though divorced, were loving and supportive, giving both boys the freedom to find th...

A campfire lesson that changed everything

“It’s a lot easier to stay warm than to get warm.”
That simple line—shared by a wilderness guide on a freezing Montana night—didn’t click for B. Reeves until years later. In recovery, it became the anchor: staying sober each day is a lot easier than starting over from a cold, miserable place.

This is B’s story of slow-burn addiction, family dynamics, near misses, and the quiet nudge that finally broke through.

Early patterns: divorce, attention, and the art of getting by

After his parents’ divorce, B learned to manipulate for affection, things, and freedom—a pattern that followed him into adulthood. His mom (the kind, steady English teacher turned entrepreneur) and his dad (the brilliant, larger-than-life writer) loved him, but their different styles sometimes softened consequences. That’s called enabling, and it often delays the moment change becomes possible.

Sports were connection points—golf with dad, tennis with mom—but as substa...

Have you ever felt like no matter what you say or do, you just can’t get through to your addicted loved one? Maybe they make promises to change, but nothing ever sticks. They stay stuck in denial, and you’re left feeling powerless.

If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone—and there’s hope. In this post, we’ll break down a powerful framework called the Motivation Matrix that helps families understand what actually motivates change, why typical approaches backfire, and how you can finally start moving your loved one in the right direction.

Why Punishment Backfires (and Keeps Your Loved One in Denial)

It’s natural to think that if addiction is ruining someone’s life, they’ll need to get uncomfortable before they decide to change. Families often turn up the heat with threats like:

• “If you don’t stop drinking, I’m taking the kids.”

• “If I find drugs in this house, I’ll call the cops.”

The problem? In the mind of someone with an addiction, those actions feel like punishme...

Perfect — thank you for pasting the transcript! I can turn this into a polished, SEO-friendly blog post that’s engaging and keyword-rich. Below is a draft structured for web readability and optimized around common search queries like “why do I keep relapsing?”, “relapse triggers in addiction”, and “how to break the relapse cycle.”

Breaking the Relapse Cycle: Why You Keep Falling Back & How to Stop

Do you feel like you’re stuck in a relapse cycle—no matter how many times you try, you keep slipping back into the same old patterns? You’re not alone.

The truth is, most people struggling with addiction relapse in predictable ways. The key to breaking free isn’t willpower—it’s understanding your relapse patterns and triggers so you can step around them before they trip you up.

Why Willpower Isn’t Enough

When it comes to addiction recovery, many people believe they can simply “try harder.” They beat themselves up, remind themselves of all the consequences, and promise to do better next...

How Shame Fuels Addiction (and Keeps People in Denial)

Almost no one wakes up and says, “I think I’ll be the bad guy today.” In fact, most of us go through extraordinary lengths—often subconsciously—to avoid seeing ourselves as the villain. This is true for all of us, but it’s especially true for people struggling with addiction.

One of the biggest drivers behind addictive behavior is shame. The tricky part? Most people don’t even realize it’s there.

The Hidden Power of Shame

You probably know what shame feels like. But we’re usually not aware of when we’re experiencing it—especially in the moment. Shame tends to hang out under the surface, quietly influencing:

• How we feel

• How we see the world

• The decisions we make

• And ultimately… how we behave

When we don’t recognize shame, we naturally begin building psychological defenses to avoid it. Unfortunately, those same defense mechanisms are what keep people stuck in denial and trapped in the cycle of addict...

Rebuilding Intimacy After Addiction: How to Restore Emotional and Physical Connection in Recovery

By Amber Hollingsworth
*Featuring Matt & Sherry Ali from the Intoxicated Podcast

Addiction doesn’t just impact the person struggling—it shakes the foundation of the relationship they’re in. One of the most common challenges couples face in recovery is figuring out how to restore emotional and physical intimacy after addiction has created distance, resentment, and mistrust.

Today, I’m thrilled to share insights from Matt and Sherry Ali, co-hosts of the Intoxicated Podcast, who have walked this path themselves. Matt is in long-term recovery from alcohol use disorder. Together, they’ve faced—and overcome—the unique challenges of rebuilding intimacy after addiction.

They’re here to talk openly about sexual desire discrepancies, emotional safety, and practical steps any couple can take to reconnect.

The Hidden Struggle: Sexual Desire Discrepancy in Recovery

According to Matt and Sherry’...