With Amber Hollingsworth, this is The Untoxicated Podcast, where we talk about the relationship between sex and intimacy with addiction. Hear how addiction negatively affects even the strongest of relationships and how beating it helps love and connection grow stronger here today with Sheri and Matt Salis, a couple whose marriage survived active alcoholism, ultimately proving that your relationship can overcome addiction with the right approach.

Alcoholism and Intimacy Survey: 👉🏻Partner’s Perceptions of Problematic Alcohol Use and Intimacy http://alcoholicintimacysurvey.org/

The Untoxicated Podcast of Sheri and Matt Salis: https://un-toxicated.com/

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Is Your Spouse an Alcoholic or a Heavy Drinker?

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Understanding the Spectrum: Heavy Drinker vs. Alcoholic

Today, we're diving deep into a topic that hits close to home for many: the fine line between being a heavy drinker and an alcoholic. It's a topic with misconceptions, stigma, and perhaps a touch of denial. So, let's clear the fog and shed some light on this crucial issue.

The Continuum of Alcohol Use

Alcoholism, or as it's clinically termed, alcohol use disorder, isn't a simple binary state. It's not a matter of being one or the other but rather where you fall on a spectrum. Picture it like a scale, ranging from non-problematic drinking to the depths of severe addiction.

• Heavy Drinker: This stage often involves difficulty stopping once you start. Maybe you set limits for yourself but find yourself exceeding them time and again. Promises to control your behavior while drinking are repeatedly broken, leading to negative consequences.

• Early Stage Alcoholism: Often mistaken for heavy drinking, this stage involves simil...

Facing Hard Truths: Understanding Functional Alcoholism

A lot of people use the term "functional alcoholic" to downplay the severity of a drinking problem. But let's be honest here: functional alcoholism is just a deceptive label masking the reality of someone battling alcohol use disorder. In this blog post, I'll delve into three hard truths about functional alcoholism and how to confront it head-on.

1. No Such Thing as "Functional Alcoholism": Despite the common usage of the term, there's no clinical diagnosis for "functional alcoholism." As an addiction counselor with over 20 years of experience, I can attest to this fact. Alcohol use disorder (AUD) is diagnosed based on a set of 11 symptoms, ranging from mild to severe. It's crucial to understand that alcoholism isn't a fixed label but rather a spectrum reflecting the progression of the disorder.

2. The Illusion of Functionality: Many individuals mistakenly believe they're functional alcoholics because they maintain aspects of...

Embracing Sobriety: Shifting Perspectives for Lasting Change

If you're looking to break free from addiction without relying on the usual 12-step programs, here's a fresh perspective: Let go of the "alcoholic" label.

Let's be real: if you're questioning your relationship with alcohol, it's probably causing chaos in your life. Instead of getting hung up on labels, let's ask ourselves a more important question: How does alcohol affect where I'm headed?

Consider this: Does alcohol fit with the person you want to be? Does it support your roles as a parent, partner, professional, or friend? If you're having doubts, it's probably time for a change.

Think of yourself like a plant. Instead of watering yourself with alcohol, which stunts your growth, it's time for a mindset shift.

Now, I get it. The 12-step approach isn't for everyone, and that's okay. Drawing from my 22 years of helping people find sobriety, I've seen many paths to success, all centered on personal growth.

In your journ...

Breaking the Drinking Cycle: 3 Steps to Embrace Sobriety

Are you stuck in a cycle of drinking, struggling to break free? It's time to get real with yourself and embark on a journey towards sobriety. But where do you start? In this post, we'll explore three crucial steps to help you kickstart your journey and stay committed to living a sober life.

Step 1: Radical Honesty

Breaking the drinking cycle begins with honesty — not just with others, but with yourself. It's easy to convince yourself that you have everything under control or that a brief hiatus will solve the problem. But deep down, you know these are just excuses, masking the reality of your situation.

Acknowledging the truth means confronting the uncomfortable realities of your relationship with alcohol. It means recognizing that the idea of moderation is often a slippery slope back into old habits. The belief that "this time will be different" is the very thought that leads to relapse. So, take a hard look in the mirror ...

10 Warning Signs of an Alcohol Problem You Might Be Overlooking

Are you worried that your relationship with alcohol might be becoming problematic? Often, the signs of alcohol misuse can be subtle, sneaking up on us without notice until they become glaringly obvious. But catching these signs early can make all the difference in getting back on track. Let's delve into some of the red flags that might indicate it's time to take a closer look at your drinking habits:

1. Loss of Interest in Non-Alcohol Related Activities
- Have you found yourself losing interest in hobbies or activities that don't involve alcohol? Making excuses to avoid social situations unless alcohol is involved could be a sign of dependency.

2. Planning Life Around Alcohol
- Do you find yourself constantly planning your days, vacations, or meals around alcohol consumption? This preoccupation can signal a deeper issue with alcohol dependency.

3. Sensitivity or Avoidance of the Topic
- Are you uncomfortable discussi...

The Double Whammy: Dealing with an Addicted Narcissist

If you've stumbled upon this blog post, chances are you might have caught wind of my recent YouTube video discussing the tumultuous world of dealing with an addicted narcissist. Yep, you heard it right. It's like the perfect storm of personality traits that can make life feel like a rollercoaster ride through a hurricane.

Now, if you're new, let me introduce myself. I'm Amber Hollingsworth, a seasoned Master Addiction Counselor with over two decades of experience helping people struggling with addiction and their families navigate the treacherous waters of addiction. Buckle up, because today, we're diving deep into the murky waters where narcissism and addiction collide.

So, what's the deal with narcissism, you ask? Well, it's been a hot topic lately, and for good reason. Narcissistic abuse is no joke, and distinguishing whether you're dealing with a garden-variety addict or a full-blown narcissist (or perhaps both) can feel l...

Convincing Someone to Seek Addiction Help: Tips from Amber Hollingsworth

Are you struggling to persuade a loved one to seek help for addiction? Amber Hollingsworth, a seasoned Master Addiction Counselor, shares invaluable insights gained from over two decades in the field. Here's a breakdown of her expert advice:

1. Mind Your Tone: Approach the conversation with calmness and empathy. Avoid conveying fear or frustration, as it can trigger resistance.

2. Set the Stage: Ensure the individual acknowledges their addiction before initiating the discussion about seeking help.

3. Identify Motivators and Roadblocks: Compile a list of what motivates them to change and the potential barriers they face. This insight aids in tailoring your approach.

4. Active Listening: Engage in active listening to understand their perspective better and gather essential information for later use.

5. Avoid Mislabeling Intentions: Refrain from assigning negative intentions to their actions. Instead, acknowl...

The Risks of Counseling for Your Addicted Loved One: Why Timing and Insight Matter

Are you grappling with the daunting task of convincing your addicted loved one to seek counseling? Before you dive headfirst into individual or couples therapy, it's crucial to understand the potential pitfalls that could arise. In this insightful post, we'll explore why rushing into counseling can sometimes backfire and how timing and insight play vital roles in the effectiveness of therapy.

Why Couples Counseling Might Not Be the Solution

You might believe that couples counseling could be the key to addressing your loved one's substance abuse issues. After all, it's an opportunity to address relationship dynamics while tackling addiction. Unfortunately, the reality is often far from ideal.

One significant risk of couples counseling is the potential for each party to seek validation from the counselor. Your loved one may enter the session expecting the therapist to side with their perspective, lea...

Losing Yourself: The Descent into Desperation When Living with Addiction

Have you ever looked in the mirror and felt like a stranger stared back at you? Maybe it wasn't immediate, but over time, living with someone battling addiction can make you feel like you're disappearing, piece by piece. In this blog post, we'll delve into the journey of losing yourself amidst the chaos of addiction, exploring the hidden toll it takes on your emotional and psychological well-being.

Co-Regulation: The Unseen Influence

The journey into the abyss of self-loss often begins subtly. Co-regulation, a term that might sound new to some, describes how our emotional states synchronize with those around us. When living with someone struggling with addiction, whose emotional rollercoaster knows no bounds, your own emotions become entangled in their turmoil. It's a magnetic force, beyond your control, as your limbic brain dances to the chaotic rhythm of theirs.

The Onslaught of Self-Doubt

As the addictio...