When we attempt to deceive ourselves and/or others, we are ignoring the reality of the situation and are holding ourselves back from overcoming our obstacles. There are many self-deception thoughts when you're in the process of recovering.  Let's give them a name:

"One last time"-- How many "one last time" thoughts have you had? These are things we tell ourselves to make a bad decision

"Just a little"-- I'm only going to take this to keep me through the day or I'm going to drink to help me sleep.

"Don't let them control you"-- this is the one that talks to you about how you are independent and you can make decisions for yourself.

"You're useless" --Don't listen to this one! This one kicks you when you're down and that no one cares. This will cause you to live recklessly. 

"It's the responsible thing" 

"It's not that big of a deal" --This is used especially if it's a culturally accepted drug.

"You can't be an addict"

"You finished your program!" He's...

Does your loved one's addiction make you feel angry, sad, anxious, resentful, hopeless, desperate, and exhausted? Does it make you act impulsively and irrationally? Do you say and do things you later regret?

You realize on some level that you're not the same person you used to be, right?
It's all of those emotions from your loved one's addiction that leads to making impulsive and desperate decisions and that leads to GUILT! You're living in the survival part of your brain which causes you to make irrational decisions.

In this video, I go through the three-step process of how you got here and give you the three-step process to dig yourself out and reclaim yourself, your emotions, and your identity!

Amber Hollingsworth

Get Free Access To My Persuasion Masterclass

These are the three fundamental laws of human behavior that you should never ignore if you or your loved one is trying to get sober. What motivates us? What makes some float in negative bubbles and make others grow tall in positivity and how does that relate to someone struggling with addiction?

From the book, "THE LAWS OF HUMAN NATURE". 

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*Purchasing this book using the affiliate link will help support our YouTube channel.

Attitude determines reality- We react to what people put out toward us. If you believe that people never get better from addiction that's going to be the reality of your situation. When you have this attitude it's going to impact how you feel which is how you react to the world. You have to have the attitude or belief that your addicted love one can get better. 

To look deeper into the other two laws, watch the full video!

Amber Hollingsworth

FOR ANYONE WORKING TOWARD RECOVERY: 30 Day Jump Start: ...

Problem Drinker vs Alcoholic

What's the difference between a problem drinker and an alcoholic? Just this week, I saw 4 new clients struggling with this exact question. Most people don't understand the difference between someone who drinks a lot and someone who has a diagnosable alcohol use disorder.

Can I be honest with you? The difference between a problem drinker and an alcoholic is that they're only one stage away from becoming a full-blown alcoholic. 

People who are problematic drinkers usually move over into alcohol use disorder eventually, but they do so in stages. 

Here are the 4 stages of alcoholism:

1. Experimentation- This doesn't indicate a problem. Usually just socially drinking
2. They start to drink more frequently, harder alcohol, or heavier drinking.
3. Consequences start to happen. This is when someone starts drinking and can't stop. Problems begin to trickle in because of alcohol use. 
4. The problematic drinking continues and bridges begin to burn. Meaning...

Caring for someone with an addiction is a long scary journey. There are days when it seems all is lost. At times, Scott admits that he had days where he thought, "This is never going to get better." His two sons are now in recovery.

In this live interview with a family recovery coach, Scott Nunnery, we talk about finding hope even on the darkest of days.  

Some things to consider if you're having a really hard day:

• Remember that you're not powerless
• Go to a family group/meeting
• Lower your expectations
• Educate yourself 
• Turn your problem over to a higher power
• Don't forget to take care of yourself

Make an appointment with Scott to discuss your situation! 

Watch this next:

After Rehab (What To Expect When Your Kid Leaves Addiction Treatment)

Emotional triggers--we all have them some are sometimes they're more difficult to deal with than others. Instead of trying to stay away from emotions, it’s important to learn healthy ways to deal with all the different emotions you might experience.  

I'm going to break this down into a 4-step simple process.

Read-(Recognize, Evaluate, Ask, Decide)

Recognize when you're having an emotional trigger. Be conscious of when you're triggered. Why is this helpful? When you're emotionally triggered, your brain drives the boat when it's activated. But we want the thinking part driving. To avoid this, you have to activate the thinking part of your brain. We don't make good decisions when we make them emotionally.

Evaluate where the emotion is coming from. "Am I being emotionally triggered by something that's going on currently?" OR "Is this something that went on in my childhood that is coming back?"

Ask yourself what you want to do about it. Let...

(click the picture above to watch the full video)

This week, we asked you to write in to our team to suggest a topic for our live video and you delivered! 

In this video, I cover these questions and more: 

• Co-parenting with an alcoholic
• Preventing relapse into addictive behaviors
• Dealing with a relapse, and getting a functional alcoholic out of denial

Ps- you can write in topic suggestions for next week's video! Send your email to [email protected], describe your situation, ask a question, and then look for it on next week's live. Every Thursday at 1 pm (EST) on our YouTube channel.

Amber Hollingsworth

Get Access To Our FREE Addiction Recovery Resources

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People usually get defensive when confronted about their addiction, but you can use a few techniques to bypass their defensiveness.

I'm going to break this down into sections when it comes to talking to your loved one about their addiction, their denial, recovery, relapse, etc. What I'm going to share always needs to be top of mind when you're having a conversation about it so there's no conflict, arguments, or them putting a wall up and not speaking.

Contemplative Stage of Change 

If your loved one is saying things like "I wish I could get better" or "I'm tired of feeling stuck" Contemplators know that they have a problem and begin to think about how they're going to solve it.

Caution: You have to take the queue from them first. If you come at them with a lot of information too fast, you're going to lose them and your credibility, which will only slow down the process.  Your first goal is to help them see that's there's a problem. 

Active Stage of...

The Enneagram is a personality typing system that will help better understand your key motivations, uncover your strengths, and identify your weaknesses.  Understanding this information will help you break free of unproductive patterns and gain control of your destiny.

Here are my most RECOMMENDED ENNEAGRAM BOOKS!

The Essential Enneagram: The Definitive Personality Test and Self-Discovery Guide by HarperOne

This is a great starter book.  It will help you identify your Enneagram personality type and gain a basic understanding of how the Enneagram system works. 

Get this book on Amazon: https://amzn.to/3p6IvhZ

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The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People by Elizabeth Wagele and Renee Baron

The first easy—and fun—guide to the Enneagram, the fascinating and revealing method of understanding personality types, for the beginner, the expert, and...