The Real Reason You Can’t Get Through to Your Addicted Loved One — And What Actually Works

If you’re watching your loved one spiral deeper into addiction while still showing up to work, paying some bills, or pretending “everything’s fine,” you’re in the hardest place to be: the messy middle. That gray area where they’re just functional enough to stay in denial, but deep in the cycle of substance use.

You’ve likely begged. You’ve threatened. You’ve cried. You’ve prayed. You’ve tried everything... and it still feels like you're losing them.

The truth? It’s not that your loved one can’t recover — it’s that the way you’re trying to help isn’t working. But there’s good news: there’s a better way, and it starts with getting out of the “bad guy” role.

Why Your Efforts Haven’t Worked (Yet)

Let’s break down the hard truth: most families unintentionally push their loved one further away by trying to force awareness, rush the recovery process, or confront them with shame. Here's what that ...

Meet Amber AI: The Game-Changing Addiction Recovery Tool You Can Talk to 24/7

If you or someone you love is battling addiction, you know how overwhelming and isolating it can feel. The questions, the fear, the late-night spirals where you just wish someone could tell you exactly what to do.

Now imagine if you had access to a personal recovery expert—someone who’s spent 20+ years working with families impacted by addiction, who knows the strategies, the emotions, the setbacks, and the breakthroughs—and could talk to you at 2AM when it all hits the fan.

That’s exactly what Amber AI was built to do.

💡 What Is Amber AI?

Amber AI is an AI-powered recovery tool—think of it like a digital version of me (Amber Hollingsworth), built with every piece of content, strategy, and technique I’ve developed over two decades of working with addicted individuals and their families.

From YouTube videos and online courses to therapy worksheets and live coaching calls—Amber AI knows it all. Unl...

Why So Many Doctors Avoid Addiction Treatment (And Why That Fear Might Be Justified)

About 1 in 10 doctors struggles with addiction. That stat might surprise you—or it might not. But here’s what is surprising: most of them avoid getting the help they desperately need.

Now, don’t get me wrong—there are plenty of reasons people avoid addiction treatment in general. It costs money. It takes time. You’re in denial. There’s a stigma.

But healthcare professionals? They’ve got an extra big reason... and to be honest, it’s kinda legit.

👀 They’re afraid that if they get help, they’ll lose their medical license.

And when your entire livelihood depends on that license? That fear runs deep.

Why Healthcare Workers Hide Their Addiction

Hi, I’m Amber Hollingsworth, a master addiction counselor and creator of Put the Shovel Down. For the past two decades, I’ve worked with people and families battling addiction. In recent years, I’ve seen a growing number of doctors, nurses, and other lic...

Alcohol & Social Anxiety: Your Best Friend or Your Frenemy?

We’ve all been there—you want to be social, have fun, and connect with people, but your social anxiety is doing everything in its power to hold you back. Then enters alcohol, promising to be your new best friend, taking the edge off and making socializing easier. But sometimes, alcohol isn’t the friend you think it is. In fact, it can be more like a frenemy—seemingly helping you in the moment but making things worse in the long run.

Does Alcohol Really Help Social Anxiety?

If you experience social anxiety, your goal in social situations is probably to decrease your inhibitions—something alcohol is known to do quite well. But here’s the catch: alcohol doesn’t come with a fine-tuned dial to adjust just how much inhibition gets lowered. Instead, it can throw that dial all the way to the extreme, leaving you vulnerable to missteps you wouldn’t normally make.

Alcohol can make you feel funnier, more charismatic, and charming, ...

The Hidden Struggle: Why Entrepreneurs Are at High Risk for Alcohol Use Disorder

Nearly 15 million people in the United States struggle with an alcohol use disorder, and entrepreneurs are particularly vulnerable. The journey of building a business is exhilarating, but it comes with intense pressure, high stress, and often, a culture that normalizes drinking. If you’re an entrepreneur who finds yourself reaching for alcohol to unwind, you’re not alone—but there is a way out.

The High-Stress Reality of Entrepreneurship

Starting and running a business is more than just a job; it’s a lifestyle. Entrepreneurs don’t have the luxury of clocking out at 5 PM. Instead, they’re constantly thinking, strategizing, and problem-solving. The responsibilities are immense:

• Financial Burden: Not only does your family rely on you, but your employees and their families do too.

• High-Stakes Decision Making: Every choice could make or break your business, often with no one to guide you.

• Is...

What Happens When the Person You Love Most Loses Themselves to Opiate Addiction?

Losing someone to opiate addiction is a heart-wrenching experience—especially when that person is your partner, your confidant, the one you vowed to stand by through thick and thin. In this post, we explore the unique challenges and emotional turmoil faced by those who love someone battling opioid addiction. Whether you're just starting to notice signs or have been grappling with this crisis for years, understanding the insidious nature of opiate addiction can be the first step toward reclaiming your life and protecting your family.

Understanding the Hidden Nature of Opiate Addiction

One of the most perplexing aspects of opioid addiction is its ability to hide in plain sight. Unlike other addictions, the early stages of opiate dependency can be deceptive:

• Subtle Behavioral Changes:
  Many people assume that if someone isn’t visibly intoxicated, there’s nothing to worry about. With opiate addictio...

When Your Sibling is Addicted: A Different Kind of Heartbreak

Most discussions about addiction focus on the perspective of the person struggling or their immediate family—typically a parent or spouse. But today, we’re shifting the lens to an often-overlooked perspective: the sibling of an addicted person.

Having a brother or sister battling addiction is a completely different experience. Your response, emotions, and challenges are unique compared to those of a parent or spouse. Whether you grew up with an addicted sibling or their addiction emerged in adulthood, the impact on you is profound.

As a seasoned addiction counselor and someone who comes from a family with addiction, I understand this firsthand. I’ve avoided this topic for a long time because of its deeply personal nature, but today, we're diving in.

The Unique Challenges of Having an Addicted Sibling

Every sibling relationship is different, but addiction throws in additional layers of complexity. Your experience may b...

Do Addicts Mean the Hurtful Things They Say? Understanding Addiction and Empathy

Have you ever wondered, Do addicts mean the hurtful things they say? If so, you’re not alone. This is a question I recently received from a viewer, and I know many of you may be struggling with the same concern.

So, let’s break it down—do they mean it? The answer is yes, no, and sometimes. Confusing, right? Let’s dive deeper so you can understand when they mean it when they don’t and why addiction often seems to strip away empathy.

How Addiction Affects Thoughts, Emotions, and Behavior

People in active addiction are often operating from a place of intoxication, desperation, or defensiveness—and all three can impact what they say and how they act. Understanding these states can help you make sense of their words and behavior.

1. Intoxication: Truth, Distortion, and No Filter

Substances like alcohol and drugs alter brain function, making it hard for a person to regulate their emotions and thoughts.

Setting Boundaries with a Loved One Struggling with Addiction: Avoid These 3 Common Mistakes

Loving someone with an addiction is incredibly difficult and heartbreaking. Of course, you want to help them, but you also have to protect yourself. And as you probably already know, that can be very, very challenging. Keep reading to discover crucial tips on avoiding the top three most common boundary mistakes—and what to do instead.

These top three boundary mistakes might not be what you’re expecting, so stay with me—there’s logic behind them.

Boundary Mistake #1: Setting Too Many Boundaries

When you love someone with an addiction, their substance use impacts not just them but you, too. It’s completely natural to want to control their behavior in an attempt to shield yourself from the chaos. This often leads to setting too many boundaries—rules about what they can and cannot do, expecting them to comply.

But here’s the catch: boundaries are about what you will and won’t accept, not a...

The Truth About Alcohol and Anxiety: Breaking the Cycle

For many of us, a drink at the end of a hard day feels like the easiest way to unwind. Whether it’s a couple of cocktails after work, a glass of wine to pair with dinner, or a weekend toast with friends, alcohol often becomes the go-to solution for stress and anxiety relief. But here’s the thing—while it might feel like alcohol calms your nerves in the moment, it’s actually setting you up for more anxiety in the long run.

I know that’s not a popular message but stick with me. I’m going to explain the science behind why alcohol isn’t the anxiety cure it seems to be and how it can actually make things worse. Trust me, you’ll want to understand this if you’re serious about breaking free from the anxiety-alcohol cycle.

Why Alcohol Feels Like It Helps (At First)

When you take that first sip of alcohol, your brain gets a temporary “chill pill.” Alcohol is a central nervous system depressant, which means it slows things down in you...